So what if

never suppress your emotions that is how they come back bigger badder and ready to bite however it is often the case in life that we must accept a situation that is out of our control. the reality is that we never have control it is an illusion, but that doesn't mean you cant express when someone or something has made you angry or upset the key is to do so in a healthy calm and timely manner. when someone says something says something that makes you mad speak up tell them that made you mad and then tell them why also I recommend you take up meditation it is an especially healthy practice and I believe everyone can benefit from it it allows one to look at one thoughts and emotions from a third person viewpoint which can be really helpful. I recommend the practice of shamatha meditation also known as the 21 breaths google it. and good luck

johnsommer1991 wrote:What if anger keeps coming back and I can not do nothing about situation, and I have to suppress?

Dear John,
You do realize that as long as you can successful ‘repress’ your anger, you will not get into any trouble because of it. Most people Make Enemies by Expressing their Anger, even the ‘Nice but Assertive’ people who insist that containing their emotions is somehow self-destructive . But when they ‘calmly’ and ‘rationally’ explain to other people why they are Objectionable or their Behaviors Repulsive, well, it’s Not As Bad as yelling and screaming at them, or hitting and cussing and going berserk, BUT it does put the other person on the Defensive, and it signals the end to any warm and close friendship. People will see you as ‘High and Mightly’ and ‘hard to please’. So, expressing your anger, even when you think you are doing it nicely and calmly, still alienates people. Studies have shown that Assertive People get less Party Invitations and Christmas Cards.

The More Troubles in Life you can simply ignore, the better, especially in regards to Social Situations, that is, with other People. Work on a Mental Outlook where you are not easily offended. If you are Proud Person, well, that is the Worst Kind. Pride has never been considered a Spiritual Virtue, in fact, it is listed high among the vices. Try to be humble. And then try to be Patient with the everyday frustrations.

People have what we call an Internal Dialogue going on in their Heads. The Internal Dialogue is very useful in that it gives us a kind of rehearsal for when we speak. But we need to realize that the Internal Dialogue does not have to be Accepted simply because it is What You Are Thinking. You are free to think among many different choice things, and most People’s Problem is that they have Very Unwise Internal Dialogue that Talks them into Bad Actions and into Saying Bad Things. But with Practice and Attention to your Internal Dialogue, you can learn to Dispute and Reject the More Idiotic Ideas that pop into your head. And it does not Hurt you to Suppress what is Stupid. Especially if your Internal Dialogue comes Charged with Emotional Impact – Makes you Angry – well, You Don’t Have To Agree with the Line of Thinking that is So Upsetting to you. Considering All the People who Claim it is Healthy to Express their Anger and other Negative Emotions, the Research Data goes entirely the other way. To Give In and Indulge Negative Emotions simply Reinforces them. If you are able to Successfully Repress a Negative or Dysfunctional Emotion, then that will Reinforce a Better Way of Thinking About It.

Anyway, if you are really able to repress your Anger, then you are among the Luckiest People on Earth and should congratulate yourself – ‘No One was ever Hung for NOT killing a Man’. But you need to practice examining your Internal Dialogue – the stuff you think all the time – that may be needlessly ‘working you up’ and upsetting you.

Go to the doctor and ask him to prescribe you drugs.

Marais wrote:Go to the doctor and ask him to prescribe you drugs.

First, Psychologists are not permitted to prescribe drugs, which is in the purview of Psychiatrists. But the Psychologists don't mind, since in most cases Meds are 'counter-indicated', meaning they would do more harm than good. Most of the Anti-Depression and Anti-Anxiety Drugs on the market today seem to have only incremental or marginal effects, for doing what they are supposed to do, but they all seem to have Horrible Side Effects that can be Counted On like the Sky is Blue and the Grass is Green. In the Case of serious Psychiatric problems where there seems an obvious Neuro-Chemical Imbalance, then certain Meds can work like Miracles. but for everyday garden variety stress and anger, it is best to do Cognitive Therapy. Drugs, you should consider, that if they did help, maybe they would help TOO MUCH... for instance, it takes a Certain Amount of Anxiety to push one to perform one's Work Tasks in a Timely and Effective Manner... but what if the Pills chilled you out so much that you know longer cared what the Boss thinks? Or what your Wife Thinks? Or how you dress and look and keep up your personal hygiene? Sometimes Drugs are the Cat that you swallow to get the Mouse you swallowed to get the fly that you accidentally swallowed. It is one of those things that just Make It All Worse... unless you are Obviously Unbalanced (but remember that Doctors make money from Prescribing those Popular Drugs (that people still clamor for despite the extensive literature on Side Effects... "Side Effects only happen to Other People"...) So a Doctor may be thinking less about Your Ultimate Welfare and more about his Boat Payments and his Mortgage on that New Summer House in the Catskills.

Marais wrote:Go to the doctor and ask him to prescribe you drugs.

Is our Marais boring herself a little bit today?

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