johnsommer1991 wrote:What if anger keeps coming back and I can not do nothing about situation, and I have to suppress?
Dear John,
You do realize that as long as you can successful ‘repress’ your anger, you will not get into any trouble because of it. Most people Make Enemies by Expressing their Anger, even the ‘Nice but Assertive’ people who insist that containing their emotions is somehow self-destructive . But when they ‘calmly’ and ‘rationally’ explain to other people why they are Objectionable or their Behaviors Repulsive, well, it’s Not As Bad as yelling and screaming at them, or hitting and cussing and going berserk, BUT it does put the other person on the Defensive, and it signals the end to any warm and close friendship. People will see you as ‘High and Mightly’ and ‘hard to please’. So, expressing your anger, even when you think you are doing it nicely and calmly, still alienates people. Studies have shown that Assertive People get less Party Invitations and Christmas Cards.
The More Troubles in Life you can simply ignore, the better, especially in regards to Social Situations, that is, with other People. Work on a Mental Outlook where you are not easily offended. If you are Proud Person, well, that is the Worst Kind. Pride has never been considered a Spiritual Virtue, in fact, it is listed high among the vices. Try to be humble. And then try to be Patient with the everyday frustrations.
People have what we call an Internal Dialogue going on in their Heads. The Internal Dialogue is very useful in that it gives us a kind of rehearsal for when we speak. But we need to realize that the Internal Dialogue does not have to be Accepted simply because it is What You Are Thinking. You are free to think among many different choice things, and most People’s Problem is that they have Very Unwise Internal Dialogue that Talks them into Bad Actions and into Saying Bad Things. But with Practice and Attention to your Internal Dialogue, you can learn to Dispute and Reject the More Idiotic Ideas that pop into your head. And it does not Hurt you to Suppress what is Stupid. Especially if your Internal Dialogue comes Charged with Emotional Impact – Makes you Angry – well, You Don’t Have To Agree with the Line of Thinking that is So Upsetting to you. Considering All the People who Claim it is Healthy to Express their Anger and other Negative Emotions, the Research Data goes entirely the other way. To Give In and Indulge Negative Emotions simply Reinforces them. If you are able to Successfully Repress a Negative or Dysfunctional Emotion, then that will Reinforce a Better Way of Thinking About It.
Anyway, if you are really able to repress your Anger, then you are among the Luckiest People on Earth and should congratulate yourself – ‘No One was ever Hung for NOT killing a Man’. But you need to practice examining your Internal Dialogue – the stuff you think all the time – that may be needlessly ‘working you up’ and upsetting you.