Anger

Dear Ok,

FIRST! You should NEVER ask for or try to seek an “Anger Outlet”. You certainly have Enough Problems with Anger without Rehearsing and Practicing Anger as a Passtime. Yes, a great many People DO think that Rehearsed Rage, such as Yelling and Screaming, Punching Pillows, and all of That is GOOD for “Blowing Off Steam”. But you need to closely observe the People who believe such a Thing – they are Angry People, and what they Claim Works doesn’t actually Work… not for Them, and not for Anybody Else. If you want to practice something, then Practice being Calm. Practice speaking in a Soft Voice. Pretend you have just been Insulted and then Rehearse what you SHOULD DO, which is to take it calmly and perhaps re-direct the conversation, or even apologize if you think you had be insulted for having committed some intentional or even unintentional offense… the Best Thing to Do often changes from Situation to Situation, and so you can pass your Time Inventing Possible Situations that would Ordinarily Make you Angry, and then Figure Out what you should do Instead. But more on ALL That later….

Now, this Should Have Been my First Thougts…. You know, as they say, ‘the Devil is in the Details’. And so to know exactly what is Wrong with you, so we can fix it, we need your Details. Tell us about yourself. Are you a Man or a Woman? About what Age? Are you in School or do you Work or are you Independently Wealthy or Temporarily Unemployed? Are you Married or Single… you know, THAT kind fo Stuff. Knowing these details will help us to evaluate what kinds of Stress may possibly be aggravating your Anger.

But, yes, Reading over what you say about your Anger, it is apparent that you DO need help. You are a bit beyond just normally Serious Anger. You have been experiencing actual Rage. One of the Typical Characteristics of Rage which distinguishes it from Anger, is that sense of Depersonalization – that Sensation you mention of appearing only able to Watch Yourself as though you were only a Character in a Movie, that you have not enough Personal Connection to your own Self to impact your own Behavior. Well, that is what makes Rage so Dangerous. One ‘seems’ likely to do anything, but fortunately in most cases it does not result in actual Murder, as I think that there is Still some kind of Inner Inhibition at work that is still recognizing Some Kind of Boundaries… Some Lines that Still can’t be Crossed. BUT there HAVE BEEN Murders and Mayhem committed by Raging People. It is therefore IS Very Dangerous, and not to be ignored.

Oh, and you may not have experienced the Worst of it… some people who go into Rages often BLACK OUT – it is like their Rage brings on a Seizure, and afterward they don’t remember a thing. I remember one incident I read about – it seems an Office Worker went into a Rage and Trashed the Entire Floor of an Office Building; chased everyone away by throwing telephones and computers and office chairs at them, then he busted out all the Windows. Just as Security arrived the man suddenly became entirely Still and a blank look came over his face. He started to ask what happened to the office (thinking that a Bomb must have gone off!), and started to look around to see where all the People were… they were off to the side at a safe distance watching the ‘Train Wreck’, as they say. The last thing he Remembers was that everything was ‘just fine’… or as ‘just fine’ as it ever can be for a person subject to Rage.

Do you Read Books? Or I should ask ‘Can you read Books?’…or are you Willing to read a book if it will Help? There is a book you should read – “Rage” by Ronald Efron-Potter. You can purchase it on-line. It’s a great book for people who experience Serious Anger and Rage, though it may be a bit too ‘heavy’ for people whose anger consists of not being much worse than simply being ‘grumpy’ and ‘nasty’ all the time… which can be very bad in itself (Grumpy and Nasty people have trouble keeping Jobs and Relationships), but still none of that really compares to the Murder and Mayhem that may be the consequences of Full Blown Rage.

Well, that should be enough to start you off and get you thinking. Let me know what you think.

Do you drink caffeine or take any other stimulants?