HELP, PROBLEM SAYING WHAT MUST BE SAID

Hi

I don't drink alcohol either and I know what you mean about the social pressure to drink.

Forgiveness and acceptance are two powerful tools that we can always use to help us find more peace in our lives.

When challenged you can say "I love my health, my body is a temple" and give your most radiant smile.

You can also silently or verbally say "I forgive you and I accept that you are trying your best" you can practise this into a mirror before a social event.

i care about you and your problems. I dont have any answers but you could try positive affirmations.

Thank you! I looked at your link and it looks good. I also have well in the same type of problems. It's that lots of people the same sex as me give me looks like they are jealous. I know because I noticed and my real friends, and brother noticed every time I talk to the same sex as me people or I meet new people the same sex as me there is a cold, like they look at me afterwards look at themselves like if they are comparing and start being cold with me. On social networks, I have beautiful pictures, but they ignore me, they comments on other people who are not attractive that they are gorgeous, handsome beautiful, but me I very often get ignored. I have a nice personality, I hate competition, I have the same interest as a guy and I guess it makes the girls jealous and worry will conquer their bf's heart. But I am not a slut and I don't use my assets to steal other people's guys. But it seems like girls without knowing each other they judge a lot. Even in my family I have a cousin that is in a relationship with a girl and she really looks at me like a jealous person or worried and like she wants me to disappear. Every time I talk to my cousin she comes in a insecure way and sit next to us. My brother told me she gives me looks like she doesn't like me. I tried to talk to her, but she seems not interested and she started acting snob and cold around me. Lots of girls don't like me it's like at first sight they give me looks like if they are insecure. But I am a nerd, I have good intentions, I don't show off. I just dress nicely with expensive things, I mean bitches get more friends than me, a nice person that looks good(apparently) !! Men are very attracted to me and it pisses off girls it seems like, but I am not a whore. I try to let them know that, but there is a visual look that girls give me that is cold and they don't trust me. What can I do? Not care and just be who I am and be proud of myself to show them I don't care about their looks and I don't hide because they are not pleased with my looks.

well done for not drinking and adopting a positive outcome to your life that is benefitial to your wellbeing .

im a none drinker aswell i just never liked drinking and smoking at all ,no reason at all why i dont drink either . i just know whats best for me .and thats what matters to know whats best for you aswell .

I am thankful you agree with me, but I hae another problem...you see christmas is coming and there are jealousy in some of my family members..because I always appear healthy and let's face it many people don't like hearing a girl who refuses to drink, eat badly and only looks healthy..it creates jealousy and annoyance toward the people who have confidence issues..and my family does!Some of my family members always had jealousy problems toward me. Now please don't doubt me or start saying ''what if there aren't jeaous'' because that question already been answered : Yes I have jealous family members, grown up women with low confidence issues who judged me behind my back and I got proofs so please just stick with what i am saying here : I always get asked if I'm going to participate in the christmas party and I don't participate often because my husband and I don't really like going there, because no one talks to me ( it's my family in law btw ) everybody talks to my husband and I am left alone. Whenever I start talking, peope interrupt me and pretend I am invisible, even my husband noticed and he finds it unfair that women in the family are like this to me.


So I get guilt-trip because I say ''maybe I will show up'' because they want all the family to be together, but at the same time no one listens to me or comes to me and when I come to them they walk away or tell me they are busy with something and women give me cold looks they look at my expensive clothes and my body etc. in a bad way, only the men compliment me in my family in law. Mu husband stays next to me and we both know there was great sh** talking behind our back over the years because of jealousy issues and the fact they never really liked me in the family and we found out about that through a leak in the family. So I told my grandma who is very mature and experienced in that situation and she told me to avoid going as much as possible to see people who don't like me, to not run after people who I know spoke badly of me. She told me to never start talking about myself knowing that no one listens to me. She said if you must go to show presence with your husband, don't stay too long and find one person who will talk to you like my father in law who is a man and thinks i am very attractive. She said sit somewhere with him and talk and show maturity that you don't need the whole family who ignores you to have fun. And if someone comes to you and asks you why you don't talk THEN stand strong and say calmly in a smart tone of voice : ''Well why don't you talk to me?


I noticed no one here takes plesure in talking to me or hearing about my life and how I am doing so why would I start talking in the blank? If you want me to talk then answer and listen when I talk it's called being polite''. I personnaly think it's great advice. Please don't tell me to forgive and accept because by telling them I forgive you they are assholes they won't understand, they will laugh their donkey off if I tell them '' I forgive you for being that way''. So If I mus go, are these good advices my grandma gave me? To show I have a great maturity and satying next to my husband, laughing with him or my father in law and showing I am having fun without them at the party? I am a nice person, but they refuse to see it, they have weight lost issues and i am fit but I don't show off they just see fit women that are confident as bitches who are egocentric. I showed them I am a nice person but they never gave me a chance so...I avoid going there which is a good thing but if I must go ..then are my grandma's advice good? She said it's always good to tell them what you feel and what is wrong if they ask me and to show strenght toward them, like they don't scare me.and I am not shy in front of them.

i would like to talk to you , women are competetive with one another and they can be very nasty at times , there were so many women competing for me i wasnt intrested in them cause they never loved me ,thats all i wanted is to be loved not competed for im not a socer macth nor a football game . im a human beign who has feelings and a need to be loved and tressured .

You don't have to go, trust you inner wisdom.

You don't have to say "I forgive you" out loud, you can do it quietly, on the inside.

You can love yourself so much that it is of tiny importance what anyone else thinks of you, this is what I do, I refuse to allow other people to take away my happiness, I guard it with all of my strength.

Thank You so much for your understanding and advice. That's what I needed to know. I really am in a unfortunate situation toward other women even in my family,or new ones I meet. I have 3 female friends that I know I trust and they are not jealous of me. I hope they will never turn on me. So for now I should stand strong for myself and just become so happy with myself and confident that whatever looks or whatever people say about me or try to put me down I should always show them that nothing can get to me...a bit like a queen in one of those Disney movies...no matter how much people yell and try to bring her down with wooden swords, she cannot let them get to her because she's way more powerful than them. I know its a funny example. I don't want to be the girl that puts my chin down and look sad after what they say to me, I want to be the one that appears to be a wall in front of them, no shame, no sadness and really show them that I have no fear. But that's what scares people I noticed : Whenever someone shows no fear or shyness in front of others after any situation it usually scares or intrigue people because they don't react the same way the regular people do. So I gotta embrace myself as being different. It's a curse to be pretty, but at the same time a blessing and i have to accept it.

What I have to remember is to stay calm, not show anger or shyness especially. I can stand strong and answer a very clear and honest answer toward them when they ask me if I'm gonna come to the christmas party even if it sounds harsh to hear..without being mean obviously. Can I say something like that : '' I will be honest with you, I don't feel like coming and I am tired of lying to you about it, it doesn't interest me to come at your family party for very clear reasons that I'm sure you know about'' Or i can privately explain the situation to the host of the party saying : ''The truth is I don't wanna come if you are going to judge me and make me feel bad about myself as a guest, I come here to make you happy and to make it look like we all are having a good time, but very often I have a better time being elsewhere where people don't give me the cold shoulder and don't judge me, so if you want me to come to your party, you should learn to behave toward your guest, maybe I would be more enthousiastic to join than''.


Would that be a okay answer? Any suggestions? Remember that they are people who are hypocrites, judge and only care about image...quantity instead of quality.

Recognising your own beauty is a blessing and you can revel in it. You deserve happiness just because you exist, we all do.

If you decide you would not like to go to the party, you don't have to tell them why. You can just say "Please forgive me, I have other things I am doing that day" if they ask what, you can say "secret things, special things" and smile.

hi i think you should go buy your instinct because you know your situation best . and you know how you feel about your situation .i cant speak for you cause i dont know the situation your in at the moment but remember we are here on earth only for a short time so make sure you enjoy yourself and that you will get lots of benefits if being joyfull at the party . i would only go if i knew i was going to be relaxed and happy at the party . its all good untill people start gettin drunk and it always the same year after year at xmas .

I like what you are saying, I know life is short for many, but at the same time the truth is I do not want to be with people who ignore me, who disrespect me just because of my differences with them and their jealousy. I heard it's good to show people like that you are happy not by saying it, but by acting...like not showing up to many of their events becaues I am too busy with my husband having a great vacation or something like that.It's important to be honest, but in a polite way...but when you are dealing with assholes who laughed and spoke behind my back for various reasons...in this situation I would like , IF they ever come up to me and judge again or start being sarcastic toward me or sending cryptic messages about my looks, my ways of doing thingsin a event then I would like to let them know straight forward that if I get hurt I hurt back Not by yelling ,but by taking what they are telling me with a smile and saying the truth about themselves...something harsh about their lives and truthful I heard about to hurt them and show them that I am dangerous verbally and cruel if we are curel to me. Before I used to be calm, polite gentle, complimenting..but in return I got crap...so would that be okay or any suggestions?

Don't show them that it hurt, this is the best revenge, that they then know they are powerless over you. You are in control. Believe me, this will surprise them. They would like you to react, don't drift down to their level, rise above

those who are mean and evil there true colors will be shown to the world by themselves ,but you show you true colors to shine and others will see your true colors no matter what anyone says about you . for example mobsters alway show the true colors of wickedness and evilness , dont fall onto there level be better than those who hate you . and do good things for others so others can see who you really are .