My anger has my kids terrified of me!!!

hi there,


just a couple of thoughts for you... i was thinking back to a time when i was under enormous pressure and it just seemed relentless. everything hemmed me in and led to me feeling claustrophobic. i remember having the sense of wanting to break free, to lash out, to release the frustration. sometimes that awful red veil would descend and i would get a rush and it felt like i was just going to lose it and really hurt someone -and ultimately myself. thinking back, i think a bit of me wanted that negative outcome because a bit of me thought i deserved it.

the thing that i just wanted to add to all the great responses you have received is to tell you how i dealt with the situations as they arose. how i made myself SAFE. there is a point where it is possible to recognise that you are getting wound up, when the chemicals start coursing through the veins. that is your signal to remove yourself from the situation immediately. then a form of intense exercise is needed. for me, cycling as fast and for as long as the anger burned was the solution. eventually, you'll just burn it off and at the same time you would have taught yourself you have a choice. in addition -and this is fairly important- you will have found a way of channeling the anger in a healthy positive manner. while you are punching walls etc. you are still expressing your anger in a way that feeds the old templates in your mind. lay down some new associations.
i was thinking that if you could prove to yourself that you can be safe with these feelings, it may take some of the pressure off. then you can have time to work on the other stuff -as when we are angry we cannot think clearly - it quite literally switches the higher brain off. this is why we find ourselves regretting 'heat of the moment 'stuff - we would never have said/done that in our 'right mind'
it is just a learning process that's all. let me know how it goes.
G