Help with a fetish!

**Posts:** 4 · by **leatherjoan** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 7:23 pm

I'm over 60 and been doing this since I was 9 or 10, mainly alone, but sometimes with a partner; and I have never understood what made me do this. I have a rubber raincoat fetish.

I grew up on LI with my parents and a sister. One day when I was home 'sick' during a thunderstorm and I went to the closet and took out both my sisters and my own hooded rubber slickers. They were knee length, front zips and hoods with drawstrings. I think every girl I knew back then had at least one. I have no idea why I did any of this. For some reason I zipped mine up and turned it inside out, Then I put hers over it, slipping the sleeves down inside each other, and zipped it up as well. Basically I had one rubber raincoat with rubber inside and out.

I went downstairs to the spare room, and laid the raincoats out on the bed. I took off my clothes and knelt down next to the coat and slid my arms and head into the bottom opening. Next I lifted my arms up and let the coat slide down over me so that the hoods were hanging in front of me. I took some time getting both zippers up to the top, it was important. Then I laid down on the bed and placed the hoods over my face and head, I pulled the drawstring on the outer hood tight and pulled it around my neck and tied it under my chin.

I still have no idea what possessed me to do any of this. I pulled the pillow down under my neck so I could get some air in around the back of my head and pulled the duvet cover over me. I started feeling myself and rubbing my breasts and crotch through the layers of rubber. This felt fantastic and must have gone on for half an hour or more. Suddenly it was getting much harder to breathe through the rubber hoods and I began squirming and rolling back & forth. My breathing got faster, I started to perspire and after a while I started to squirm and struggle; I think I spasmed and something inside exploded. It was like a powerful electric shock, but very very pleasurable. I untied the hoods and pulled them off my face. It was both overwhelming and terrifying. I never realized how dangerous it could have been nor how stupid I was to have tried it.The stickiness of the rubber, the way it gripped my face, head and neck, and the tightness achieved by rolling side to side had combined to give me my first orgasm. And, there was no going back.

That brings me to where I am today. Now, after having been through dozens of rubber slickers, (which are getting really hard to find), it's still my favorite way of solo pleasure. I was married for five years to a Brit (passed suddenly about ten years ago), and when I confided all of this to him, he was thrilled. Apparently rubber trench coats and raincoats (mackintoshes) are very big in the UK. When we vacationed in London he took me to a rainwear shop and had me fitted for a couple of long, heavy, latex lined rubber trench coat mackintoshes which still I wear to this day. One shiny black, the other gray, when buckled up tight, whether lying in bed or walking to the park, even sitting in church; the same feelings return. I have also purchased a lot of leather wear, trench coats to pants & shirts. That's because I like the look and feel of leather and its apparent normality. While it's not as obviously fetish based, I know people look.

He also introduced me to rubber and leather straitjackets, full suits and hoods made specifically for bondage and breath control. I was terrified when we opened the packages, but again, for reasons I still can't comprehend, I let him dress me, bind me, smother me and pleasure me. It was unbelievable with him in control; but rubber slickers have always been my go to way to get off. Sometimes I'll even sleep in them just for the feeling of safety and comfort I get. I even made some modifications to them to make it easier to masturbate.

In my small New England town, I've heard I'm called either the Rubber Widow or Leather Widow, depending on time and season and my style of dress. Has anyone else ever heard of this? I can't believe I'm the only one. As I said, I have no idea what made me do it the first time, but I'm still doing it today. And it drives me crazy wondering if I had not been home alone that day, if it had been a sunny summer day, or my mother had never bought us those rain slickers, how might my sexual development have gone. I have read extensively about this, and I believe Kraft-Ebbing wrote that the first recorded instance of a rubber mackintosh fetish was the case of a 19 year old British female.

I hope someone out there can help.

Thanks.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 7:48 pm

leatherjoan wrote:I hope someone out there can help.

What precisely are you looking for help with?

You have 50 years on the planet of successfully navigating a fetish. You have researched the fetish. You understand there are others out there into similar fetishes, e.g. rubber and breath control.

What is your fetish stopping you from achieving in life? Another relationship? No. Is it taking up too much of your time? Maybe.

Can you flesh out a bit more regarding what you perceive as the problem?

**Posts:** 4 · by **leatherjoan** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:36 pm

What I want to know is what made me do it the first time. I don't recall even wearing a rubber slicker before that day; although I do remember it being almost as though I was under remote control. I know why I kept it up, it feels good! And as I said, I know others are into it, but certainly disproportional to the number that wear leather or rubber.
Why did I take such care to make sure I was encased in the raincoats, and how come I had my first orgasm when I could not comprehend what I was doing?

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 10:35 pm

leatherjoan wrote:What I want to know is what made me do it the first time.

Fetish research doesn’t have specific answers for specific fetishes. The best explanations available are general in scope. Basically, a fetish develops when a person associates an object with the pleasurable chemicals released during sex.

A fairly well known study investigated boot fetishes. Images of boots were show to young males. No reaction. Images of attractive women wearing the boots were shown. Males obtained erections measured by blood flow. Boots alone were reintroduced to males and now they had erections. Presto, you have development of a fetish.

The above paragraph is stimulus response conditioning.

Why some objects are more prevalent than others is speculative. It might be the case that prepubescent you found scary movies exhilarating (releasing similar chemicals) and an actor was wearing a raincoat. Maybe you saw movies or read stories of kidnapping. Maybe a parent or sibling wrestled with you and held you under a blanket. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe...

The bottom line, no one can tell you and you will never know what made you do it the first time. The best you can do is craft a story if you like. Some people do. Some people try to trace a fetish back to a specific event or series of events in their life that they then claim as causal. It isn’t true, but it comforts them to believe that they know so that’s positive.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 4:03 am

https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/1966-rachman.pdf

For any reader interested.

**Posts:** 4 · by **leatherjoan** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:01 pm

Thanks for your help; I have read that before. Unfortunately nothing seems to be able to answer the question of preference.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:07 pm

leatherjoan wrote: Unfortunately nothing seems to be able to answer the question of preference.

Availability is at least part of the answer.

A person cannot fetishize an object that at least to them is unknown to exist. An individual that belongs to the Sentinelese tribe on the island of North Sentinel, for instance, cannot possibly develop a raincoat fetish. You, on the other hand, would have never been likely to develop a sexual fetish associated with turtle shells.

If your question is the preference of one object versus another object versus no object, then it comes down not only availability but primacy effects and strength of association. Sexuality is a sandbox. Kids explore. Kids play. Kids develop, socially, physically, cognitively, sexually. This means at some point in time a child will experience an initial chemical release that is related to sexual reproduction. Whatever objects that can be associated with or used during childhood experimentation that happen to be in the sandbox will most likely be given preference over other objects in the future.

You are right. Any specific answer to your particular preference is unavailable. Research can't pinpoint why a raincoat is given preference over stilettos. Maybe you didn't have access to stilettos that day. Research can't pinpoint why a raincoat versus no object, except that we know play and exploration are a normal part of being a child and we know that strong associations can develop between an object and chemicals released into the brain.

**Posts:** 4 · by **leatherjoan** » Tue Nov 05, 2019 9:38 pm

I can't believe it's been a month and no one else has admitted to doing this!!!

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Tue Nov 05, 2019 9:51 pm

You do realize that:

-1- This forum is not very active. There are maybe 10 people in the universe that regularly post.

-2- A rubber raincoat fetish is not common.

This thread has all of 1,600 views. That’s it. I’m not sure of your expectations, but maybe if the thread had 20,000 views you might get someone claiming a similar experience.

**Posts:** 1 · by **macjay** » Sun Apr 18, 2021 7:49 pm

I do value your issue. As you say, it's not easy to find an outlet.

Try Weathervain or Hamilton Classics. They are both in the UK and while not cheap by any means, they do sell their
products in the USA.

**Posts:** 39 · by **romanrusso** » Mon Apr 19, 2021 7:36 am

It sounds like Sigmund Freud can help you with this. I'll try to do my best to explain it. When you were 9 or 10, you connected rubber raincoats with security, protection, and sexuality. Over the years, you reinforced this pattern by repeating it until it became your only go-to, or at least your main one.

I remember I asked a psychologist about something similar but completely different. Their reply I got was that I described my first accident in a very specific way (as you did, too). Then this psychologist told me that I had a choice of doing things completely differently. Can you find a different choice in what you could have done in that original situation? I keep this vague on purpose so you can make your own conclusions

**Posts:** 3 · by **LF1955** » Thu May 27, 2021 12:00 pm

Leatherjoan. Just found this site and your post. I also have a pretty similar fetish- rainwear, but cloth type.

I have had this interest since my early teens, so now it is something I have "carried" for about 50 years.

Instead of needing to get it fixed or being ashamed, I just accept it as a small part of my life.

I would really like to communicate with you and share thoughts. I am also living in a very small New England town so I'm careful about appearances.

John

**Posts:** 4 · by **patriciasatin** » Mon May 31, 2021 11:53 am

Having read leather Joan's comments regarding having a fetish for rubber mackintoshes/slickers since childhood, I can entirely identify with her comments.
After much soul searching over the years I suspect my rubber mackintosh fetish developed at an early age, possibly activated unknowingly by my grandmother with whom I spent much time under her care prior to beginning school.
On occasions she would take me to restaurants and on shopping expeditions, on wet rainy days or likely hood of it she'd be appropriately attired, wearing a long hooded black rubber lined Cape and whilst waiting for a bus or train to arrive, in the event of rain, she would pull me beneath her long rubber lined Cape to protect me from getting drenched.
My memories of those occassions remain as though it was yesterday although it would of been in excess of 70 years ago.
The soft cool caress of the cold rubber capes lining against my arms and
legs together with and an almost overpowering aroma of the rubber lining of her Cape.
As time progressed her Cape became an object of my constant attention, even to in her absence, removing it from the hall coat stand and taking it to my bedroom where I'd wrap myself up in it, luxuriating in its cool caress and overpowering aroma.
After constant soul searching at various times of my adult life I can think of no other
obvious catalyst other than that described above however I would be appreciative of any input or similarly related experiences from other readers.

**Posts:** 4 · by **patriciasatin** » Tue Jun 01, 2021 9:04 am

In continuation of my previous posts regarding having a life long fetish for rubber mackintoshes and other rubber clothing. I have for a while now been harbouring thoughts of seeking the company of other similarly minded rubber fetishists of the male gender.
I have through my adult life only saught the company of females being twice married, second marriage a long and mainly happy one and during which my late wife would to a degree humour my fetish for rubber garments.
I have been widowed in excess of 15 years with several relationships with females during that time, none eventually successfull mainly due I suspect to my rubber fetish.
It appears that the likely hood of meeting a woman with a similarly related fetish to mine highly improbable so I am dubiously considering the possibility of attempting to establish a relationship with an elderly male with similar fetish interests.
I have never sought, nor until now wanted to, a same sex relationship which would only involve my particular rubber related fetish but due to the unlikely event of meeting a like minded women seems to be the only available option for me as I suspect the number of males with a similar fetish to mine far outnumber twenty fold those of women.
Would I then by seeking that alternative effectively curtail any further chance of finding the woman of my dreams as I would ultimately hope to?

**Posts:** 9 · by **rubber roger** » Mon Aug 09, 2021 4:07 am

RE: HELP WITH A FETISH!
by rubber roger

Having just read patriciasatin's post on his fetish for rubber mackintoshes & other rubber clothing,I can entirely relate to the sentiments he expresses. My first clear memory is at age four & involved a green single textured rubber lined mackintosh worn by my kindergarten teacher which both fascinated & excited me. From that age onwards I have had a powerful fetish for womens rubber rainwear & other items of womens clothing in rubber. Throughout my childhood (I was sexually precocious) teenage & early adulthood such rainwear formed the core of my masturbatory fantasies, but accompanied by continual feelings of guilt & shame, which I have found over the years is common amongst rubber fetishists.However, I have long ago sublimated this negativity into a mild form of masochism & continue to enjoy my fetish as an integral part of my sex life.
In regard to patriciasatin's concerns about gender & rubber fetishism I would agree that his chances of meeting a likeminded woman are nil. Over a period of more than 70 years I have never met nor corresponded with a female mackintosh fetishist, & I'm talking many scores of such contacts. Yes, I have had one partner who co-operated, but co-operaration is not the same as sharing & indulging in the powerful sensory stimulations (sound,feel,sight,smell,taste) of a rubber mackintosh. Only a fellow fetishist (& unfortunately, patriciasatin, it can only be a fellow) can experience the erotic surge & thrill this provides.Long ago I faced this dilemma & became bisexual inorder to accommodate my fetish & discovered that most of the rubberists who I got to know had come to the same conclusion & adopted the same remedy.Although there are many rubber fetishists who are gay, few if any would be stimulated by wearing womens rainwear, lingerie etc.The fetish for womens rubber macks has become increasingly uncommon over the decades due almost entirely,in my view,to the fact that rubber rainwear is no longer manufactured nor sold except by a handful of fetish specialist providers. As a consequence there are no women nor girls rustling, shimmering & slishing in the street or at school to excite the minds of pubescent boys. The now long defunct Mackintosh Society once had a membership of two or three hundred (I was one) & a beautifully produced quartely magazine. In my experience the UK has always been at the epicentre of rubber & mackintosh fetishism (Germany perhaps second) both in regard to the providers of gear & those who wish to wear it. That said, here in New Zealand, I have met a number of fellow fetishists over the years & enjoyed both corresponding & meeting with them. Similarly, I have a very good, longterm friend in Australia (not the kind of climate you associate with mackintoshes!) who I have stayed with annually for a dozen or more years at his home in Melbourne. Most regretably this has not been possible for the last couple of years due to Covid 19 & Australia moving in & out of lockdown, while here in NZ we are locked up rather than locked down. No Covid (as of now) so leaving for Oz is no problem but returning is both difficult & expensive.However, we continue to phone each other every couple or so weeks , usually clad appropriatley, to share thoughts, experiences & reminescents for 20 minutes or more, frequently culminating in much rusltling, crackling & slishing of mackintoshes as we urge each other on to mackintoshed ecstacy.
I hope all of this provides some help to patriciasatin & perhaps to leatherjoan. By the way, I am more than happy to correspond directly.

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