Does anger have to lead to destruction?

no it doesn't have to lead to destruction. quite obviously. since there are plenty of people in the world who seem to manage fine.

but it seems your deeper question is why are you like this? and how to stop being like this?

i used to be like you. i would basically never explode with anger. unless someone really pushed me a lot. i would instead hold it in & dream & plot bloody revenge. well not really bloody revenge. i guess i would dream of beating them up. but most of my fantasies were about humiliating them in some way. so i guess my own anger was out of feeling humiliated? nothing would ever come of it. because time would pass & i would forgive them. or they would apologize & i couldn't stay mad at them. but then i would also feel unsatisfied. an apology to me always feels so unsatisfactory. it's like they've hurt you, you didn't get to make them feel the same level of hurt you were feeling. & then they'll probably hurt you again in the future & only further tilt the ledger towards their side. the whole process just always felt very unfair to me.

anyway, so i'm not sure how i got over it. or if i have gotten over it. i'm quite sure i'm much better than i was.

mostly i think it's about awareness.

just to keep generally working on understanding yourself. looking within. the more you look within to understand yourself, the more you will understand others. because we are not so different. similarly, the more you look without to understand others, to understand the world, the more you will understand yourself. again, because you will recognize similarities. "as above, so below, as without, so within" is i think the famous saying.

one thing is to recognize that it's not so much about the other person as it is about you. the other person is finding a vulnerable spot that exists in you & pressing on it. they could do the exact same thing to someone else who doesn't have that spot, and there would be no effect.

& now i'm going to say the exact opposite. ha! another thing to recognize is it's not about you, it's about them. from this perspective, everyone that is trying to hurt you, is acting out of their own hurt. so in this way, it's nothing personal. it's just how they act towards everyone because they are in pain. they don't love themselves very much. or they're having a bad day. you just happen to be in the way today. tomorrow it could be someone else. it's nothing personal.

fuckyouinternational wrote:Every time someone or something pisses me off, I don't fly of the handle like others, I simply plot the destruction of that person or object. The plannings are subconscious and it all just comes naturally. Im afraid ill act out some of these thoughts someday, i dont know even like decades from now. What to do?

Dear... I Can't Even Use Your OnLine Name...

What is THAT about?

Apparently you have No Impulse Control.

You probably drive around with really provocative and insulting bumper stickers... I would guess.

Anyway, the Cognitive Behavioral Schools of Psychological Therapy would probably ask you to Observe and Evaluate your Thoughts as being either Good or Bad... and then to Continue thinking the Good Thoughts but to Jump Track whenever you find yourselves thinking Bad Thoughts.... such as Murderous Revenge on some body who, for instance, just took your usual parking space one rainy day.


Stopping or Redirecting Thought is something that I do all the time. I am retired and am now Studying Math. I drink coffee to stay awake and alert, but Still get tired, and feel that a short Nap can sometimes help. But My Mind just races with various thoughts. I try to stop all of this distracting Thought by concentrating on counting up to 100... again and again... until I lose Awareness in Blissful Sleep... or at least in the Nice and Fuzzy Hypnogogic State. It is remarkable how many times I have to interrupt distractionary thoughts to return to my Steady Sleepy Count. But my efforts eventually pay off.

But, my point is that with a certain sense of Exerting One's Will Power, Certain Thoughts can be Rejected. With you, you only have to worry about the Kind of Thoughts that could put you under 24 hour a day FBI surveillance.

Meanwhile, try to adopt a More Respectable Persona. Giving yourself an F.Y. Name... a name that decent respectable people cannot even bring themselves to, well, use in any context.... Well, isn't Your Name exactly Who You Are? and, looking at your name, we all See Who and What you Want to Be.

So, first thing... Stop wanting to be some Evil Bad Person.

It is often said that good people are happier than Satanic Evil People, From what I have seen it appears to be so, but I must admit that I never really put my Heart into being an Evil Satanic Person and can't tell you my Preference from out of Personal Experience. But, It appears though that you have, and now we see you writing in to us because you are not entirely Happy with it. Well, good... you proved a point. Being Bad isn't Good.

So, in short, stop being... and Thinking... Bad.

There is the Story in Anger Management about the Young Brave and the Wise Indian Chief.... the "Chief" notices a disturbing trend toward Badness in the Young Brave and mentions to him that Inside Every Man is the Spirit of Two Different Wolves -- a Sociable Wolf -- One with the Rest of the Wolf Pack -- a Nice Wolf. The Other Wolf is just Crazy and Violent -- howling at Nothing and even Snapping at his other Fellow Wolves. It is a Bad Wolf. As the Story Goes, the Young Brave asks the Respected Older Chief what anybody can do that has these two conflicting spirits within his Soul. The Chief says, Feed Only the Good Wolf. The bad wolf cannot be sustained if it is utterly starved of attention.

But what are you doing? Within yourself you Encourage everything that is shocking and unsociable.

when was the last time you thought of How you Could Make a Favorable Impression on People? Don't you usually Plan Extensively On How to Shock and Appall People?.... Making yourself Deliberately Disgusting and Repulsive.

Just Stop It.

If your Problem is Just Being You, then you will have to Stop Being Yourself, and work on being somebody new.

I've read of Many People who have Re-Made themselves. They bought all new Cloths... dropped all of their Old Friends and sought a New and Better Crowd... They Learned New Languages or adopted Educated and 'Really Classy' Accents. Made Up New Back Ground Stories about themselves... which really isn't honest. but, all in the Cause of Presenting Themselves as Better Persons than they were before the Big Change.

OH, but you probably already Have too many Provocative and Disturbing Tattoos, and those are very difficult to get around. But, Good Luck. I hope you have found this advice helpful.
ss8is qn chie
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