serawara wrote: There is no chance so far. I also think that he is hiding something but he is refusing every time we ask.
Sorry to hear that it continues.
You know how if you ask a child to tell a secret that many times they will refuse? But, if you act like the secret is not important, it loses its value. Therefore the child is no longer so willing to hold the secret.
You know how a child will fall and then look to the parents to see their reaction? If the parents look worried the child cries. If the parents ignore the fall the child continues to play.
Now...I’m not calling your father a child. Not at all. I’m saying that mental issues or cognitive impairment can sometimes result in regression to similar responses. The adult no longer uses critical, rational thinking, but reverts to a childlike way of processing what is going on. If a secret is valued they hold onto it.
Has your family tried focusing on (indirect) managing instead of focusing on (direct) treatment?
What I mean is have you tried ‘stop asking’. No longer push or pursue a cure or treatment. No longer focus on the father, but focus 100% on the family managing to work around the issue. Stop giving the father so much attention and begin designing ways to accept this new version of your father.
It is hard at first because it feels like giving up. But, this is not true. It is a strategy that similar to a child that is only about no longer giving the child attention that reinforces their central importance.
Direct treatment that focuses on the father does not seem to have made much progress in 8 months. Therefore, I do not think there is much to lose by trying an indirect strategy. The indirect strategy helps the family accept and work with the situation. A side effect of shifting focus is that the father, once the spotlight is off of him, might no longer feel the need to hold the secret. If nobody cares or stops asking about what bad thing he feels he has done, like a child, he will no longer feel the need to keep the secret.