Abuse, depression, bullying, how to reverse myself?

I'm 21 right now. My father is alchoholic. At age of 6 I was being beat with a belt, slippers or hand cassually when he would come home drunk. He would beat my mother also, the beating of her would stop when i would scream and cry out loud and be silenced. They divorced when i was 7. Since then i had no contact with him. Our financial state throught my teen years was poor. I would skip parties, going out and any other social activities which requires money. At school i felt no need to engage in small talk, it was meaningless to me. I was a target to bullying due to my silence behaviour as seen to others. I skipped classes, education was worthless to me, got in few fights, which led to problems with authorities at school. Then i was close myself to start drinking at age of 14. Had depression. Due bad performance at school my mother said that i remind her of my father, this crushed me even more and i attemped stabbing myself with a knife to stomach but was stopped by her. From that day i felt no need to talk to her anymore. At age of 15 bullying continued but was slowing down. I started bodybuilding. By age of 19 i was tall, built. Bullying stopped completly, but the stigma stayed until graduation. Now i stopped working out, i don't care about my health, i haven't started studying anything yet due to not knowing what and lack of money. I've been in England by myself for 1year, worked hard physical jobs just to earn money. Now I'm back to Europe and i got drafted to millitary, the service starts in 2months and will take 9 months to finish. After that i will have some money to start something.
Today I feel motivated to change myself, I feel the need to speak out about what happened to me, I want new and different life, I want to experience things. But. I don't know where to start, what to do. The comfort within silence consumed me and my true personality which I believe was shutdown due to bad experiences. So, if, anyone who has information about recovery from this, please share it here i will value it. Have a good day.