I feel like this is a stupid thing of me to do, but I really need help with this.
I love hip-hop/rap music and have loved it since I was introduced to it as a child (I'm now 19, from Norway). I have always dreamed of becoming a rapper and I have been writing lyrics for about 5-6 years.
Back when I started, I had no problems with writing a whole song in an hour. It was awful, of course, since I had so little knowledge. But as I've gotten older it's become harder for me and I know this is because I have set my standards higher.
I consistently compare myself to the greatest rap lyricists I know and fail to deliver. I am troubled by my negative thinking which I can't seem to stop and no matter how good my material is, I don't like it.
This is maddening, because I know I am good! I know that can achieve anything if I just put my mind to it and do the work. I am also very motivated (wish to showcase my skill, outshine others, disprove the naysayers). Whenever I try to write I often find myself stuck looking up synonyms for each and every word to see if I can express it in a better, more advanced way, or researching different topics to find stuff to reference.
I know a guy who I am superior to in terms of writing and rapping, yet he has completed an album and received praise for it by many friends and acquaintances, and I still haven't been able to finish a single verse after I started getting serious with it.
I write lyrics every day, at home, at work, in bed, etc. Whenever something strikes me, I jot it down on the notepads that I keep on me and around me at all times.
I don't know what else to say. I know I could keep on explaining stuff for hours, but then you probably wouldn't bother to read it.
Here's an example that shows my problem:
I had to build up courage just to post this and I spent a long time correcting words, finding synonyms, etc...
What should I do? Could someone share their opinions on this?