by Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:01 pm
Talk with your husband about specific behaviors. Focus on improving those behaviors. Everything else is secondary for purposes of your question.
Note, you certainly need to seek out some professional help to address your underlying low self esteem. I’m not denying or saying to ignore the mental issues.
What I am saying is that if your concern is your husband being fed up with your crap, don’t use your mental struggle as a “I can’t” change excuse. You can focus and work on addressing whatever behaviors you need to address.
The same applies to your son. Your son doesn’t understand depression and it is not your son’s responsibility to deal with your issues. Your behaviors, regardless of your mental issues, must focus on doing what is healthy for your son.
For example, get up every morning at 6 am or whatever time is appropriate to support your son and husband. That is a crystal clear behavior that you can accomplish. There is no, “I feel sad, so I can’t”. That is not acceptable. Fix the behavior.
Understandably what I have written is easy to type and not easy to execute. Unfortunately, that is a limitation of online forums.
It is actually a problem of online forums. People asking for advice makes them feel like they are taking steps to address a problem, when actually it is just a distraction, delaying the inevitable reality they must face.
I’m not saying asking for advice in a forum is without any value, but realistically you already know the behaviors you needed to work on before you came in here. You already know what you need to do, so do it.
The example I will leave you with is a person trying to lose weight. Before they ever enter an online forum they already know the answer. It is diet and exercise. They know it, but feel compelled to distract themselves by seeking out some new piece of wisdom. It makes them feel like they are going to make progress as they create an account and post their issue.
Anyway, good luck to you. Focus on the behaviors you need to address.