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well said, Richard

u r not alone. u still hv self awareness. i hv no gd advice for u as i encounter problems in daily life. perhaps unrealistic expectations… we hv to pragmatic and pragmatic for our feeling good. focus ur study. that's really the top priority for u stay italy. i hope with that education qualification....

Hi op, Are you ok today? :) I saw a quote that expectation ruins relationship. Do you have expectation on others? Or what expectation on yourself? I found that your post well express. Loneliness is not owned by you alone. We all share it, somewhere in time. I am not expert that may provide necessary...

Hi op,
I recommend you exercise daily. Keep doing it and eventually it will lead you to a new lifestyle. Keep the momentum (and) into other aspects. Don't give up! And cheer up!

Benjamin Button: For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it....

hi OP, Your case could be one or more syndrome of: Perfectionism Procrastination Depression OCD (Obsessive–compulsive disorder) etc. There are some books and some experts and forumer advice here. Take time to consume. Perhaps seeking expert help is better approach and time saving. Don't give up, don...