Hi Again,
I posted in this forum just a while ago at problems at work, http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=92988.
A while ago I worked out that a rumour is going around that I'm a narcissist, lying, manipulative and not to be trusted and sounds like to me that they think I set up these projects to fail. This has completely destroyed other peoples' trust in me, my reputation is in ruins and I am mentally destroyed. I work myself into the ground, be open, honest, (I thought) dependable, and this is what happens.
I've tried to analyse myself and my actions see what could cause this. I've done every online personality test I can find and it comes back with Avoidance/Paranoid; with narcissism being my lowest score. I've even done specific narcissism tests and come back with being so low in this personality trait I wonder if it even works. I've convinced myself that I'm definitely not this kind of person.
I resigned when I could take much more, but my bosses didn't want me to leave and kept on at me to stay saying everything is fine. (I've got a three month notice period to work out). Things seemed to clam down so I thought I'd stay after the fourth time of asking me to stay; since I had no strength for interviews I was resigning without a job to go to.
But I've recently overheard someone saying "...he's a dangerous person..." meaning me I've no doubt. However, I only have suspicions, everything is very vague and intangible; I can't get anybody to confirm what is going on.
When I confronted one of my bosses about this in an effort to sort things out they claimed no knowledge of such things; but I know they are lying because I heard them discussing it which is why I chose to speak to them. However, the boss seems to want to keep me and has got HR involved; so confusing.
I cried on the way back from work because of this and I almost never cry, damn it.
I've suspicions that some "true" narcissist has been manipulating people to believe that I set them up, but I've had no official complaints or negative feedback from reviews.
Basically I'm confused as to what is going on. I've been bullied before, but nothing like this.
Anybody heard of anything similar or have any advice?
Malicous rumors and lies, advice please.
4 posts
• Page 1 of 1
by Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Oct 24, 2015 3:46 am
There is either one of two things going on. Either;
-1- You are correct that everyone is lying and manipulative.
-2- You are not correct, you are paranoid.
I hope the answer is -1- as then the solution is simple. You apply for new jobs and leave as soon as possible. There is no reason to work in such an environment.
If the answer is -2- it doesn't matter where you work, because every place you go you will think people are out to get you.
-1- You are correct that everyone is lying and manipulative.
-2- You are not correct, you are paranoid.
I hope the answer is -1- as then the solution is simple. You apply for new jobs and leave as soon as possible. There is no reason to work in such an environment.
If the answer is -2- it doesn't matter where you work, because every place you go you will think people are out to get you.
- Richard@DecisionSkills
- MVP
- Posts: 12131
- Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:25 am
- Likes Received: 1271
by 47 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:41 pm
It is number 1, but it isn't so easy as now I don't have confidence to go to interviews. I just don't know if I can do my job any more and I just don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just so angry that everyone seems so willing to believe such lies and behave so badly.
by bert_ernie » Sat Oct 31, 2015 12:30 am
it's probably a combination of 1 & 2.
sometimes people really are gossiping about you. & sometimes you are just being paranoid & imagining or interpreting things that are innocent to be malicious.
the problem becomes that after each instance of detecting real or imagined gossip against you, you look even harder for the next piece of gossip against you.
stop looking for gossip against you. stop looking up online personality tests to see what is wrong with you. there is nothing wrong with you.
when you hear what you think is gossip & you try to analyze what they said, what it really meant, it ends up being like chinese whispers. you're rarely going to actually interpret what the statement really mean or who it was about. & often the statement just says more about them than it says against you. it may just mean they were in a particular bad mood or that they enjoy gossiping.
in the end you just end up churning your own emotions up into a frenzy & driving yourself crazy.
sometimes people really are gossiping about you. & sometimes you are just being paranoid & imagining or interpreting things that are innocent to be malicious.
the problem becomes that after each instance of detecting real or imagined gossip against you, you look even harder for the next piece of gossip against you.
stop looking for gossip against you. stop looking up online personality tests to see what is wrong with you. there is nothing wrong with you.
when you hear what you think is gossip & you try to analyze what they said, what it really meant, it ends up being like chinese whispers. you're rarely going to actually interpret what the statement really mean or who it was about. & often the statement just says more about them than it says against you. it may just mean they were in a particular bad mood or that they enjoy gossiping.
in the end you just end up churning your own emotions up into a frenzy & driving yourself crazy.
- bert_ernie
- Senior Member
- Posts: 1299
- Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2006 4:41 am
- Likes Received: 91
4 posts
• Page 1 of 1
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
-
I need advice
- 1
- 320
-
Thu Dec 16, 2021 2:13 pm
by Richard@DecisionSkills
-
I need advice
-
-
Need Advice
- 1
- 6341
-
Wed Aug 18, 2021 5:26 am
by brightone
-
Need Advice
-
-
Need sex advice for male virgin.
- 3
- 787
-
Thu Nov 18, 2021 5:29 am
by mjseedscanada
-
Need sex advice for male virgin.