Insight - I've been training bjj (brazilian Jiu Jitsu) for a number of years. I've also competed in several events previously.
this week, we had a belt promotion which only happens once a year. Going into this event, I already knew I wasnt going to get anything, because my coach told me in so many words, your day is coming within the year, just keep doing what I'm doing. however, the night before the belt promotion i was literally up all night long, dry heaving, vomiting and had extreme stomach pains. I was dizzy when I got up and I could not keep so much as water in my system.
The promotion comes and goes and I feel at least relieved for what ever reason ; my instructor came up to talk and basically he said that in time my day will come also, reaffirming what he said previously. However, he suggested that I go back out and compete again and 'see what happens'.
The thought of competition restored all that thought and feeling of dread, anxiety and paralyzing fear. I had to use some grounding techniques to calm down as if I was in fight or flight.
I have no idea why this is happening. I cant get around the deep down feelings of dread in situations like this. Is there anything I can do to over come this fear or what ever? has anyone else over come stuff like this ?