I't like i'm waking up little by little. and i think there's something i must tell my doctor.
i've been on lots of medications and was thinking going back on taking some of them. but here's here's the thing:
i've never been good with my doctors not that i didn't make the effort but when i'm in there it's like i'm in there for like
30 seconds and it's done but the patient before me is in there for like 10 minutes.
and now this stupid idea popped into my head and i was thinking print some pages about my conditions from the internet and show it to him and write down what I'm supposed to say before so i won't forget what i was gonna say. but i'm sure he'll lash out at me. at first it felt like another bad thought circling through my head again and
I'm sure you think so too but it's gonna happen or it's never gonna go down how i it will think (which isn't supposed to) or how i hope so or how it's even supposed to it's true (for everybody).
i just want to walk out of my doctor's room with a sense of satisfaction, saying what i should have said. knowing what's going on.
i just don't want tocome out of there feeling great for like thirty seconds and with another prescription which i now know that won't work( but i won't know then), BECAUSE IT NEVER DID. IT"S HISTORICALLY PROVEN. and i fall for it every time.
so what do you think?
i'm gonna bore him because he thinks that i think i'm a smart-ass monologuist, who's just pretending to be at his level isn't he? what i say or show him won't mean anything to him, he'll just make his own assessment and send away.
should i go? i mean i still have my pills i'm set for like a month.
