Lost the will, the motivation, and the why

**Posts:** 2 · by **GDSL** » Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:03 am

Well, Let's just say, I am in Nowhere Land, I'm tired, and I have a no will, or clear goal to live for.
I don't know where I am going, and I have not much faith in myself to be honest and in everything around me.
I have been through lots of battles to be an independent person in a nutshell crushing society, tried to have my own business, tried to do partnerships, always making sure to do things the right way, no cheating, no lying, no stealing "it's business"<-- devilish term.. people use it to hide their hypocrisy and mischief.

I really don't know If I'm going to last for a few more years or not, I don't see suicide way past me to be honest.
I am drained and tired, this country is a killer, and its people are vampires that sucks energy.
The filth and the corruption has been scored the highest.

And here I am trying to remain pure.

I don't know if it's childish, or I'm just immature, or some people call me perfectionist.
What I know is that I'm lost, tired, and very angry, very very angry.
Tired.... Oh....So Tired.

One of the things I read, is that sometimes brave men need mentor, wise men need mentor, mentors to teach them so they can grow to their best self.
Well, I tried to get a mentor... One of my eldest tutors, but unfortunately, he was not the mentor I needed, he was more into money abuse, then really help, he was sarcastic, a bit manipulative, but what was clear is that he was money oriented.
I tried way behind to have my father as my mentor, but he is weak, fragile and my father is a liar, and is recognized in the DSM-5 as a Psychopath.

My brother may wish me well, but his intentions aren't very clear, and he is similar to my father.
My mother is an ignorant woman, crushed by her parents and family as well .. So I cannot ask her much... She has her own scars and battles to face.

I am trying to keep going on a daily basis, keep on fighting, working, reading, studying and so forth... but honestly, I'm escaping to sleep, I'm escaping to sleep.... I'm tired, I really am tired, and I have no will to live, no clear goal to give, nothing truly honest to know .... What is it should I do? Where is it should I go ?

I'm tired, and a helping hand will help ...
If someone recommends a book or smth... that would be great.

I donno.

That was me just going blakh online.. Since I really have no "home" to go.

I cry even now and then while praying.... Things haven't been great... and I don't know what tomorrow holds.
I don't know If I will hold .. I dont know If I Will Hold...

Salam.

by **BrokeSuicide** » Fri Mar 15, 2019 8:11 am

Nobody cares.

Have a great day.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Sun Mar 17, 2019 2:24 am

GDSL wrote:I am trying to keep going on a daily basis, keep on fighting, working, reading, studying and so forth... but honestly, I'm escaping to sleep, I'm escaping to sleep.... I'm tired, I really am tired, and I have no will to live, no clear goal to give, nothing truly honest to know .... What is it should I do? Where is it should I go ?

Let’s use the A.P.E. goal-oriented decision model to determine what you should do. If you are not familiar with the model, it is a 3-phase cycle of Assess, Plan, Execute.

Assessment starts with having your goal in mind, which you stated as gaining independence. This is an abstract goal, so it is a good idea to create some specific lower order subgoals. For example, I will guess based on what you wrote you mean financial independence. This translates into money that is used to have a certain degree of freedom.

From the goal, we can use the tool SWOT to assess your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. I don’t know your strengths (skills, abilities) or your weakness. I don’t know the opportunities, because you paint a grim picture. The threats you outlined several, in that you have a country and other factors outside of your control that limit your ability to gain financial independence.

Now you need a plan. This plan should address things you can control. It should harness your strengths or improve a weakness. For instance, maybe financial independence is gained by learning a new skill. Maybe your previous plan was based on a flawed assessment, where you did not recognize the level of corruption. That is okay. That was then and this is now. Your new assessment leads to a new plan.

Once you have a new plan, you need to execute. This can be difficult when you lack motivation. This is why you want to keep the plan simple. You want execution to get you feedback so that ou can reassess. Are you making progress towards your goal?

Give A.P.E. a try. Good luck.

**Posts:** 2 · by **GDSL** » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:12 pm

Thank you Richard.... You were right, My plan didn't recognize the level of corruption.
I will proceed with what you suggested.
And I thank you loads.

Best Regards.

**Posts:** 16 · by **hojoos** » Fri May 03, 2019 6:22 pm

motivation - life

**Posts:** 116 · by **James_Lee** » Fri May 03, 2019 11:10 pm

Have you considered joining social clubs? Or some amateur sports teams? Even a simple evening walk can be so refreshing. It is often the case that we dwell on the negativities and then it really takes a hold of us.

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