My girlfriend has ended our relationship.

devaalman wrote:Hi, I'm doing a bit better now. But over the Christmas period I will probably bump into her if I go out to meet up with friends.
We have mutual friends/small town. I am afraid of how I will react to seeing her.
Should I do my best not to bump into her. As in avoiding places and days I know she is more likely to be around.

Glad you are doing better.

You should not avoid places. This is allowing your fear to win. It is like asking if you should avoid a harmless spider, because it will make you feel uncomfortable. The spider is not at fault, neither is this girl. You have the fear, so avoiding places is just allowing your fear to control you.

Just go. You shouldn't avoid things just because she will be there. You never know, she could strike up a conversation with you. If not, and she's still standoffish, maybe it can push you further into getting over her. I know if I saw my ex out and he ignored me, it would crush me, but would also turn me off to he now is as a depressed person. It would probably help me move on faster.

Nice to see you doing good

Hi
Just an update.
I kind of expected to hear from her over christmas and new year but i didnt.
I didnt see her on nights out over the festive period. I am feeling better about the situation
but still I dont think i could feel comfortable in her presence. So it was good not to be in
that situation. I am keeping busy by eating well, exercising and doing hobbies.

Still healing to do but i am in a better frame of mind now.

Respect her decision and give her space, if she comes back to you then good. If not, it's time for you to move on.

Hi
Thanks for all your comments.
I have been struggling lately. A couple of my friends have told me that my ex owes me a better explanation as it is now 5 months since she said she couldn't be with anyone/me due to mental ill health. I am kinda annoyed at myself for listening to my friends as it has me thinking now that maybe i should have checked in with her. I have maintained no contact. But i cant stop thinking she hasn't contacted me because she feels too embarrassed/bad about dumping me. Please tell me I am doing the right thing maintaining N.C.

I am not over her

Recently I had a bereavement in the family.
My ex contacted me and sent a couple of supportive messages over a few days.
I thanked her and didnt ask her anything about herself. She sent a card a week later.

This has made me think about her again.
Help

How many girls are you currently dating? Get active with new relationships, new groups, new activities.

@devaalman

Sorry to hear about your family. Wow.. it's been a while, but I can't blame you cuz it's not easy for me to get over someone either. It is not clear what your ex's reason was for breaking up with you. Is/was she depressed? like.. clinically depressed? If she is/was then chances are the reason was not because of you. I have been in that position myself but not at a time when I was with someone. I remember not wanting to commit to anyone or anything.. not even dinner plans. My heart felt heavy and my brain was overwhelmed from always thinking that I didn't want to have to think of anyone/anything else. Perhaps your ex feels better that's why she reached out.

Thing is, if this is depression, it can happen again. You have to decide if you want to get yourself involved in this situation again -- as a friend or someone who is pursuing her. I know you're still thinking about her, but perhaps right now you have room to be more logical about it. The key is not to expect anything from her if you want to be there. This way she will not feel pressured.

thanks for you comments. still keeping N.C.

Sorry to hear about all of this. Stay strong and keep us updated