desperate788 wrote: It's like a fantasy..A new job in istanbul..If that were real.
I would like that more than anything
leave all this tax crap move to istanbul
start a new life..
Even thinking about it excites me.
Candid wrote:You want to go. The thought excites you. That's called motivation. The only other kind is pain. Pain motivates people to escape pain.
From where I'm sitting, it's painful to stay where you are -- but clearly it's not yet painful
enough. When being where you are, and as unhappy as you are, gets TOO painful, you'll be forced to pack your bags and go home. By that time your father will be gone, but he'll still live in your head because you never had the courage to confront him. And you'll be that much older, that much less likely to find work that suits you.
You don't acquire bravery by telling yourself and other people that you're too scared to move, too scared to change, too scared even to say hello to strangers. The only way to acquire bravery is to
do the things that scare you.
Here are two scenarios:
1) You stick with the tax office until you're too old to work any more or they get rid of you. By that time both parents are dead, and you've never challenged yourself in any way, so every day you've become more scared, more crazy, more alone.
OR
2) You move back to Istanbul, as soon as you possibly can, and can immediately tell yourself: "I did it! I was scared, but I did it anyway!" Then you have family, people who care about you, more bustle outside your home, a new therapist you can stick with, unlimited job possibilities.
One is predictable and most likely getting worse as the years pass. The other is only partially predictable -- and that's a
good thing.
How would it be if you went to the personnel manager and said there's a family crisis (this is true) and you need to move to Istanbul (which imo is also true). Is it possible they might say: "We can use you in the Istanbul office"?
I would suggest you take your formal written resignation in, to hand over if they accept it. And if that's the case... you're free!