So winning an argument at any cost makes you feel like a winner? Short term gain vs long term cost?
Yea, it makes me feel like a winner. Like many people do I think. At least man. But woman also try to be better vs each other by looks for example.
But be winner is not as important. What feels bad is to be a looser.
And I agree that short term gain is not good when you have to pay long term big cost. I want to feel good short term and not pay long term cost.
And I do not want to win an argument when I am not right. THe same I do not like people winning when they are not actually right. Or in the situation where there is no right or wrong, there is only the taste, opinion. Because then I feel bad.
Some said that I need to understand other guy why he is thinking the way he thinks. And by arguing I am trying to get that information.
You're not thinking when you choose to argue. You are acting on an impulse. That is not a mature way to act. Think about cost/benefit equation. Do you want to be known as a difficult, argumentative, immature person or someone who is approachable, respectable and communicative?
But I could think before arguing. I want to be respectable and communicative. But how can I be respectable if I always give up. People will treat me like the guy who agrees on everything they say, silent one, being afraid to tell what he thinks, does not stand up for his opinion. Is that respectable? Such guy looks like a "pussy" in my opinion. And I am becoming bigger "pussy".
I know one guy who almost never argues, just stays quite while in a group other people are constantly telling their opinions. This guy does not get into opinion conflicts. But he just looks bit weird. And there are some jokes that he is not telling you but he will hit you
or he is writing into his black book of what everyone is saying to him.
Did that man ask your help? Did he indicate he wants your protection? You have no idea of the couple's history or of the dynamic between them, you have no idea why their communication is the way it is. If he didn't indicate he wants your support, his suffering has nothing to do with you. You will not be a hero by getting involved in a domestic situation. You will be a busy body. You will be someone who lacks clear judgement. It's not your place to get involved.
No, I think its because he thinks its a shame and nobody will solve the problem. Or he might pretend thats not big problem. But actually this repeats over and over again I believe. That usually happens. And I think the history does not matter in that case, I think people just should not talk bs to each other.
There is no age limit for marriage. Get yourself sorted first. When you meet a girl you like and if she likes you back, get to know each other well. If you get married because you think it will be too late soon or if you want to have a kid, are these really the right reasons to get married? If you marry, marry for the right reasons.
I have heard that in too old age, there is a higher risk for woman to die when giving birth and also kid might be more likely an invalid when too old woman gives birth. Unless I fix myself and get still very young woman like 10 years younger.
Or what if I never succeed in fully fixing myself? Then I should not have family?
There is no problem in improving your body language and the tone of voice. Observe and practice. Keep observing and practicing. If you are not getting the results you want, continue to observe and practice until you do.
I think I am trying to copy the way my friends do, but so far it does not work. Or maybe I copy wrong.
...But you cannot win them all. Your friend says your opinion is nonsense.He can possibly get away with it because you are friends, but do you really think that's an effective or a positive or a wise way to communicate? Does he communicate in that manner with every other person as well as yourself? Does he really win every battle AND the war? Do YOU want to go around declaring that your non-friend's opinions are nonsense? How far will that get you?
Is it positive to tell your friend that he talks nonsense? I don't know. But if the guy who is teaching me talks like this, maybe it is the right thing to do. He has good social skills at least comparing to my ones. But usually I try to avoid telling people that they are talking nonsense when its my opinion, because opinion cannot be good or nonsense and it shows a disrespect.
I know he tells that his wife talk nonsense from time to time. At least with me, I don't know if he wins every battle but he wins most of them I think. THe war he wins also. WHat is war - the big thing that I still am his friend? Then he wins it. I do not feel fun when I cannot tell my opinion but I still need to talk with him and need to have friend like him.
I do not think that I will do good by telling other people that they talk nonsense. But he gets away with this. At least with me and his wife.