After 20 years together , a big fight at Christmas led to me moving out for 6 weeks . Worst time of my life , as I love her , she’s “not in love with me anymore “
But we have 2 beautiful children , I am a busy professional , she doesn’t have to work , and we are just about financially secure - with 2 investment properties for the kids ( 1 small house each )
My work related stress was key to the bust up . ( non violent btw) but .. after the bust up , we both admired it was in the way this last 4 years abs we were both painting over the cracks .
Anyway divorce court would have swallowed up the houses we both worked so hard to pay down for the kids , I get her commitment as a stay at home mom a full time job , always acknowledge that , and even it as to go to court would make sure she and the children were provided for .
As I’m a good man ..
Tempers flared then cooled down .
I got back home . But .. the love is gone , but she respects the hell out of me and the fact that I’m a great dad .
So.. my take on it , was “ there was a time in the last 20 years that I fell out of love with you , but did not want to dissolve the family unit for the sake of the kids , and their future inheritance . Abs low and behold I fell back in love with you again ,”
Her take is , she doesn’t love me now , but respects me and likes me , so we have engaged a marriage Councilor.
To see what the under lying issues are . To be fair to my wife , a stubborn woman ( who I adore ) the councilor had pointed out a lot of stuff in her side that’s been wrong and down right bitchy . Years of it .
I then am still blinded by love and feel sorry that she now feels down , as she is having some realizations, as the councilor ( an expensive well recommended one ) has pointed out a lot of her faults , that would have only ended up in an argument if I pointed them out .
I’m an open book And always bent over for her abs admit to my **** ups .
Anyway . Sitting on my couch , about to go to bed with my wife who doesn’t love me anymore .
How bizarre is that ?
We are both good people and are giving this process a try . 2 beautyful children , financial security and 20 years in the balance ..
It’s worth a shot .
Just thought I’d vent here I case anyone else ever found them selves on the road to marriage reconciliation/ divorce avoidance In similar circumstances.
Regards, and peace .
NL.