It is hard to deal with my friend

**Posts:** 17 · by **armion** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 12:07 pm

I am requently facing a situation when talking to my best friend.. I am that sort of person, who feels the present mood of my interlocutors or if something is wrong with them at that moment or not.. When my friend starts talking when he is in a bad mood, i seem to see something hostile in his eyes. This makes me avert my eyes from him.. I cannot talk to him.. I feel aversion for him.. Even worse, when all of a sudden I ask him what might have happened to him, I regret that I have aksed him to talk about his problems... He is the kind of a person who hides his feelings inside, and he may drive them out any time, any place, no matter with whom he is coversing with.. Well, the ambigous part of this is that he is the only person towards whom i feel and see that hostile attitude to the whole world.. I have read a lot of books on this... I learned how to forgive people and accept them as they are... And it really works!! I just get free of that bad influence.. In the past i was trying to understand people, as a result I might have very terrible headache, then i learn how to accept people as they are and forgive them.. I started not to take everything they say close to my heart... And I don't wanna get rid of my friend, because he is the object that I am studying.. My question is: What is it when u talk to someone and you feel his hostility? Any there any ways to protect from such attacks?

anyone can drop a piece of advice or your views on this?

**Posts:** 47 · by **bananna** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 2:47 pm

hi there i was wondering if you have ever heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy - this is where an individual is expected to behave in a particular way. the perciever in turn sends off non verbal indications of such behaviours and as a result that individual will behave according to the original behaviour. so if u expect you friend to be hostile then you may be giving hi some indication to act in such a manner such as decresed eye contact protective body language and so on, just relax when talking to your friend, afterall he is your friend, be supportive not critical

**Posts:** 17 · by **armion** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 3:05 pm

Hi. I have never heard of self-fulfilling prophecy. I would like to learn more about it. I am never critical about people, i always understand them and never try to disrespect their feelings. NEVER! But this friend is something. He just an "energy eater".. It is evident that he lack much eneregy, if he ever has it

Once I had a run-in with him and as a result i had a terrible heachache. Since then I never try to ask him questions "Why are you looking so sad?" When he speaks, he looks into my eyes, and I see something terrible in him, all the bad things are "having a party" in him

I am really scared of his look.. He is not the person with whom I can speak, or say that he'd better do this way, or give him some advice... He is very monotonous, he never shows that something troubles him, but when you go deep into his inner world (which i never like to do), he becomes a wild "animal". any hints? thankx

**Posts:** 47 · by **bananna** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 3:18 pm

well if you are not trained in this area or have little knowledge about this then maybe you should stay out of his deep levels. you may hurt him more or even hurt yourself. i do not know all the circumstances but this sounds dangerous.

**Posts:** 17 · by **armion** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 4:35 pm

Yeah, It may be dangerous.. i think a devil visits his soul at that time

I feel and smell some danger coming from him, he is overfilled with hate for everything...

It is hard to deal with my friend

#1

#2

#3

#4

Main Menu

Psychology Resources

Recent posts

Active topics

Contact Us