My anger is ruining my relationships and my life

Jared Long wrote:the last 5 years i have had a lot of anger and hate for some of the things that have happened in my life.and i am always thinking about them

Hi Jared, welcom aboard!
I think first of all you need togain perspective on whatever is making you feel bad by improving your mood then learn the 6 Key Social Skills and increase your emotional intelligence so that you can then tackle anger through effective anger management.

Hi Jared

Sounds pretty uncomfortable!

What I noticed in your post was that you say you are "always thinking about it". I wonder if that is the key? If you keep thinking about things that upset you in the past, you find that they upset you in the present - and this is exactly what you say is happening.

So grovelli's suggestions are great for learning new ways to manage in future, and you could also see what happens if you cut down thinking about it so much. This can be a bit of a tall order at first, so don't be surprised if you find it a challenge! However, it is clear that you really want things to change now, so you can have a go at this. One way to do it is to give yourself a short "angry time" - say about 10 minutes (use a stop watch) once a day. In the angry time, sit down at a table or desk with a piece of paper and WRITE DOWN your angry thoughts and number them. When time is up, STOP and put the paper away. Go and do something different - anything!

If you find yourself going back to thinking about it all, just STOP yourself and remind yourself that you've done that for today (and let's face it, it's only the same angry thoughts you have going round and round - you practically never have a new one!).

Writing them down also gets them out of your head, and separates them from you.

Let us know how it goes!

Kathleen

hi firend
just to the point: anger is energy ...ok ?
it is just suppressed...if u r angree with ur teacher, u cant hit him; same with ur parents or society ..ok?
then what can u do?
one just go on and on carring this suppressed energy (or thoughts) in the mind...is that clear?
ok NOW what I do when i feel angree? i just release this energy!
how?
i go for a long walk, or jogging or dancing..anything will do.
or my fevorite i keep beating a pillow until i feel totally relax
it sounds stupid but it really works (atleast 4 me)
and if it works for me then it may work 4 u..TRY!