by Leo Volont » Fri Feb 19, 2016 1:03 pm
Dear Olive,
The real root of your Loved One's Anxieties may be different from what you think.
The difference between your Loved One's Siblings and himself is the Mother.
Perhaps there Appears to be a Qualitative Difference between His Mother, and the Mother of his Siblings.
Now, what child does not truly Love his Mother. To be treated differently, and more in an inferior manner because of one's Mother.... well, that could Annoy almost anybody.
Of course there may be much more involved than we know about. For instance, and we have no way of ever knowing... your husbands Mother may have said terrible things to her Ex-Husband... deliberately designed to keep him away. You know some Insults can Ring a Bell which can never be un-rung. Once a Well is Poisoned, well, it stays poisoned.
But your Husband has been thinking about This his whole life. Why not talk to him about it. But, yes, it may be troubling to him that he was Begat by such a Mis-Matched Couple. he may feel a bit Mis-Matched within himself.
I myself am divorced and had a Daughter. But I never re-married... as I anticipated This Very Problem. No matter what, I was always going to be My Daughters Father. But... well, there were times I was tempted to remarry, and many a lesser man would have.... but my Not wanting to have Anymore Children was always a Deal Breaker. But I think I might be somewhat exceptional.... Most Men, I believe, don't Stipulate their Feelings and Expectations, and get into Relationships Just Hoping everything will work out. ... and what are they supposed to do when their New Blushing Bride announces "Oh My! I guess the Pill (that she decisively stopped taking months before) didn't work! I guess you are going to be a Father... again...:"
Yes, there are laws against shooting lying and deceptive wives. So men have to deal as best they can with such trickery and treachery.
Anyway, your Husbands situation may be more complicated than anyone else could ever know.
But, the more responses you get, well, the more Insight you may have into the wide dimensions of this particular problem. Good luck and God bless you.