effects of divorced parents at young age?

Dear Olive,

The real root of your Loved One's Anxieties may be different from what you think.

The difference between your Loved One's Siblings and himself is the Mother.

Perhaps there Appears to be a Qualitative Difference between His Mother, and the Mother of his Siblings.

Now, what child does not truly Love his Mother. To be treated differently, and more in an inferior manner because of one's Mother.... well, that could Annoy almost anybody.

Of course there may be much more involved than we know about. For instance, and we have no way of ever knowing... your husbands Mother may have said terrible things to her Ex-Husband... deliberately designed to keep him away. You know some Insults can Ring a Bell which can never be un-rung. Once a Well is Poisoned, well, it stays poisoned.

But your Husband has been thinking about This his whole life. Why not talk to him about it. But, yes, it may be troubling to him that he was Begat by such a Mis-Matched Couple. he may feel a bit Mis-Matched within himself.

I myself am divorced and had a Daughter. But I never re-married... as I anticipated This Very Problem. No matter what, I was always going to be My Daughters Father. But... well, there were times I was tempted to remarry, and many a lesser man would have.... but my Not wanting to have Anymore Children was always a Deal Breaker. But I think I might be somewhat exceptional.... Most Men, I believe, don't Stipulate their Feelings and Expectations, and get into Relationships Just Hoping everything will work out. ... and what are they supposed to do when their New Blushing Bride announces "Oh My! I guess the Pill (that she decisively stopped taking months before) didn't work! I guess you are going to be a Father... again...:"

Yes, there are laws against shooting lying and deceptive wives. So men have to deal as best they can with such trickery and treachery.

Anyway, your Husbands situation may be more complicated than anyone else could ever know.

But, the more responses you get, well, the more Insight you may have into the wide dimensions of this particular problem. Good luck and God bless you.

I think that divorce is not the issue. Divorce can be amicable and sometimes divorced parents live together for the child. Your boyfriend sounds like he has abandonment and inferiority issues. But at some point you move on and let go, because you cannot blame your parents forever.

Dear oliveandpurple,
You coming from a very family-oriented background may have added to his attraction to you..the fact that your parents were married for over 30 years...till death do us part is rare and beautiful.

Id like to point out your husband's father was alot younger. He may have been somewhere else personally and professionally. "Upper class" dad...was there "financially. ..all are very interesting terms...Like Leo said, never underestimate the role of the mother. She is not somehow exonerated in all of this.

At least by seeing this side of his father he should realize that side exsists. It's never too late, if he wants a closer relationship with his dad, encourage that. If he is bitter, resentful and jealous then he needs to be the one asking for help...

Anxiety Anger and Impatience...
Contfrontatinal issues...
These are serious without excuses or blame.

I have dated guys whose parents divorced at a young age...and that was never a reason for mean behavior.

At 31, his personal character development should be accounting for his attitudes and behavior...not something that did or didn't happen at age 1.

Regardless of who is at fault, once age 6 passes, we all have to learn to take responsibility for ourselves. The rub is when what happened in those first few years was negative.

You seem very sweet and supportive. That sure makes a huge difference!!
All the best,
2scents

Well you get afected because childhood its an important process of life and if you suffer the you will suffer also when you grow.So start offer your husband all support and understanding that he needs and you will help him