I am on day 9 without weed after smoking regularly since I was 17 (I am 31), heavily since I was 20, and pretty much a quarter ounce every week for the last 2 years.
Feeling pretty positive about my decision, and doing pretty okay apart from brain fog and sleep issues. I thought it might help for me to keep a bit of a journal of my dreams and nightmares here, and even if no one reads it I can keep track of my progress/pain haha.
For the last 2 nights I have had the CRAZIEST violent dreams where I am being stalked/hunted by someone. Last night I also had one where I was on "shared land" of Pluto and Earth, and could see various suns rising and setting. I was texting a friend about where I was and they were apparently familiar with it and referred to it as 'Gavida' (have Googled and can't find much that makes sense). It started to get dark and I heard a noise behind me, when I turned around a massive buffalo type thing was running towards me and I cried out so loud that I woke up myself and my partner.
When I fell asleep again I was in a three part horror movie where I was killed in the first one but sort of just watched over everything in the second and third. A millionaire hosted a party every year and invited all the different people to his giant property for some sort of games/competition and he would sometimes become like possessed by something and kill all the guests... But every year he would host another one and no one was suspicious about the deaths. I only knew it was like a movie because there were celebrities in it, and I remember thinking "You think they would have learnt by the third one"
I was sort of floating/flying around like a ghost and trying to warn people. Sometimes they could see me, and other times they couldn't. I was incredibly distressed because I felt I couldn't help them. The night before that I was being followed by someone who was trying to kill me. I don't know who they were but I was essentially on the run, and eventually they found me hiding in a public bathroom and shot at me but the shots didn't hurt me. In the same dream someone I knew fell out of a high tree and I had to call an ambulance while I yelled at them not to move. The person on the phone when I called sounded like an immature child, and wouldn't listen to me when I was telling the street address (which I still remember).
Anyway, I'm pushing on with things because I am determined to not allow weed to run my life anymore. I'm drinking heaps of water, having hot baths, eating well, and trying to doing interval running to try to get those endorphins up. But after so many years of trying to avoid dealing with a lot of childhood trauma and other crap, this was never going to be easy. Seeing a psychotherapist twice a week had really given me the strength to push on, as being able to talk through my self hate and other trauma stuff has really helped me to be able to want to move forward.
Please feel free to share your dreams, or any tips for better more restful sleep.
Thanks for reading!
