Anger mangement courses?

I went and saw my GP this afternoon. I have been put on a waiting list but he said it could be months before I am able to see anyone.

I think I am going to need to attend something sooner because I am not coping with the idea of having a problem with anger and it is making me feel very depressed. I keep feeling like I am going to burst into tears.

What I have found strange is that most friends I have spoken to about my anger have been unaware of it. One person even thought I needed to be more angry sometimes. I guess this is why I need have some sort of help. I am either angry or I am not and there is nothing in between. I can become very angry at the slightest thing but then other times I can be a bit of a wimp. I need to find some balance. Has anyone found this? Does anyone know someway of overcoming this?

Thanks in advance,
Pete

hi. by three years I have worked with a group of friends to eliminate my psychological defects (anger, anxiety, depression, etc). the method consists to comprenhend that inside every person inhabits a Being (a truth, a wonderful reality) that finds caught in a personality the target to conquer the anger is to conquer pete (not pete's being but pete's personality). who is pete??? he is just a personality. you can eliminate your personality and get connected with your real being. how to do that??

The anger's elimination requires the practice of self-observation, moment by moment. To observe your thoughts, feelings and attitudes give you the possibility to identify your anger which blocks the conscience of the Being. The anger does part of the personality created by culture, education and family. It separates you from your Essence and by the time produces sickness, suffering, anxiety and stress.

The personality (the psychological I) is a wall that you need to break down. It works in a constant mechanism, because of that your observation needs to be constant too. You will observe that you have not an I, you have a lot of I’s (I watch T.V, I’m hungry, I’m angry, I feel pleasure, I hate you, I’m sad, etc)

During the day, masked in “silent” thoughts, emotions and acts, the “I´s” distract your mind and make you a slave of their pleasures and needs. To eliminate them first you need to practice self-observation and when you observe an “I” ask to the Consciousness (the energy, love, wisdom of the Being) to eliminate them. Remember it, when you see an “I” just breathe and ask to the Consciousness to eliminate it. This practice will permit you an elimination of your mental programming and a natural re-connection with your Essence. It’s like a mental cleaning you have to be patient and constant.

The diary practice of this method will give you the chance to free your mind from the defects and know happiness and peace. Remember the anger is just an I. It doesn't exists just breathe and ask.

Hi, Lina. Also to anyone who reads this and might have any suggestions.

Thanks for posting about your group working on eliminating anger (and the other “defects” you mentioned.)

I have experienced some huge improvements in controlling depression and anxiety in the recent past. In the past couple weeks I have been amazed at myself. Things, people, and circumstances that a few months ago would have caused me to react in fits of unbridled anger; I was able to float through with calm composure. Then later out of harm’s way, I burst into tears! Have I made any progress?

I suppose I would prefer crying alone after I am removed from the situation to reacting in anger. Getting angry just causes more physical trauma to my mind and body and increases the possibility of more physical danger from the other people involved.

I can self-observe in the peaceful calm of my own home. I practice meditation and relaxation exercises everyday. It is when someone comes banging and yelling at my door interrupting my serene sanctuary that I react in kind. When this person falsely accuses me of something that I did not do, in a very loud, abusive manner and blames me for things that would be impossible for me to do and more likely that he did to “set me up” I do sometimes react first in fear and then in anger. At times I have been able to save my serenity and simply deny his false accusations.

Can you offer any advice on practicing a calm defense? I have never accused him even when he has accused me of things that seem obviously created or caused by him just so he can blame me.

Example: He accused me of putting plastic knives down the kitchen drain to cause more work for him that he should not be doing because he has a bad back. I do not use plastic knives. I do not even have any in my apartment and never have had. I have never in my life put any kind of utensil down any drain in this apartment or any other place where I have lived.

When he finally came to fix the drain for the third time, he left a leak under the sink. When he left after coming back to fix that leak he left another leak in the faucet. Now can you explain to me how I caused these leaks? Is it not more probable that he did not tighten some pipe connection when he was fixing the other problem?

When he came to fix the drain after accusing me of putting plastic knives down the drain, I quietly said, “I guess we will never know where the mystery knife came from.” I did not accuse him of putting it there or faking that he pulled it out from the pipe.

When he came to fix one of the leaks, I apologized for causing more work for him – even though I did nothing that could have caused the problem. When he came the other time, I said that I am not trying to cause him more work.

Yesterday I was at my desk working in quiet concentration (I am a bookkeeper working at home) when he came banging on the door and yelling at me from outside! It startled me. I about jumped out of my skin! It ripped through my tranquility like a bomb exploding! When I went to the door, I calmly said, “I wished that I had known you were coming.” His visit was totally unannounced and by law we should have 48 hours notice. He started yelling at me again. It is not so much his words that upset me; as much as his demeanor. I am ashamed to report that I reacted immediately! I would not let him in my apartment. I allowed the exterminator service man to come in and quickly closed the door behind him. I was terribly upset for hours afterward.

I would love to know how to protect myself from this abuse without forfeiting my tranquility at the same time.

You said: To observe your thoughts, feelings and attitudes give you the possibility to identify your anger, which blocks the conscience of the Being.

I think I know what my thoughts and feelings were at the time he came banging on the door. (A.) He has no legal right to come unannounced. He is breaking the law. (B.) The way he came banging and yelling was rude and unnecessary. (C.) He abuses the authority he has and intimidates the tenants. (D.) His job is to help take care of the property, not harass the tenants – I am not the only one treated so. (E.) I feel threatened, unsafe in my own home. (F.) I resent him for interrupting me at my job. (G.) I resent him for interrupting my serenity. (I know only I can give it away – He cannot take it from me.) (H.) I wish he would go away. I wish I did not have to deal with him at all.

And most of all, I am frightened that this man will cause me to lose my income. I am in the process of starting a new job. I have been working at this for almost a year. I started in October of last year. After I start – if there is any noise heard on the phone when I am with a customer, I will be fired! That is one of the requirements of the job. I have been looking for a job for a long time. No one seems to want to hire me. I am almost 60 and most employers can pick from hundreds of very qualified applicants. I cannot blame them for wanting a younger person who will be there for them for a longer period of time. This job is very, very important to me. I feel a great deal of anxiety over the power this man has to cause me to lose this job after a year of hard work trying to get it.

(I.) I feel threatened and helpless to defend myself against his accusations and the power he has over me.

In this moment in time (as I sit here in the quiet, typing at the keyboard) I know I am safe. I know I have an income (meager as it is, I am not cold, hot, or hungry). I know I cannot do anything about the future. I know what happened yesterday is gone, water under the bridge.

When this man crosses my path again, which I know he will, and gets in my face with his loud and abusive attitude, which he always does, how do I remain calm and serene and practice the self-observation moment by moment in THAT moment?

The only thing I can think of is to close my eyes and pretend he is not there and try to block his words from my mind and walk away. That would work for me, but it would not get the job done. I mean sometimes we do have to talk.

You said: Remember it, when you see an “I” just breathe and ask to the Consciousness to eliminate it. This practice will permit you an elimination of your mental programming and a natural re-connection with your Essence. It’s like a mental cleaning you have to be patient and constant.

You mean ask the consciousness to eliminate the fear?

You mentioned: The diary practice of this method will give you the chance to free your mind from the defects and know happiness and peace. Remember the anger is just an I. It doesn't exists just breathe and ask.

What is the diary practice?

I would appreciate your suggestions. Since I do meditate (several different types) and write a lot, I would like to incorporate your techniques into some of what I do every day. I need all the help I can get.

Thanks.