Hi,
I'm a 22 year old woman. I'm concerned since I've been super down and my self esteem has never been worse. I feel like a piece of trash, for real. I do have friends, friends who, i know deep down, love me to the moon and back and i love them as much, However, I feel more and more weird since i'm a virgin, at 22. I know it's not a race, I know it doesn't make me a freak or anything, but I can't stop comparing myself to others, and i also know that i am indeed the ugly friend. It hurts so bad, every time my friends talk about their love lives it feels like someone stabbing me right in the rib cage. It hurts so so bad, even physically.
I feel like a loser, that no one will ever love or approach me because of my anxiety. I don't believe in the saying that says there's someone for every body. Some of us are just destined to be loners. My mother won't stop telling me I'm gonna end up alone, since all my friends will be married, or with kids or something.
My best friends know what I feel, they keep saying that it's all in my head, that it's not true etc. I don't believe them and push them away, asking them not to talk to me, to leave me alone for a day or even more... I've even considered not going to further events with them. I've also been having lots of suicide thoughts lately. I know for sure I won't commit it, but i've really been thinking about it and for some reason it's made me feel... good somewhat ?
Please, tell me if you've ever been in this situation, or what you think of it... i'm kinda hopeless and helpless here
Thanks