Group therapists covering for one another?

Crashnikova wrote:

miranda39 wrote:With reference to your first post, I've also felt something similar in individual therapy.
I've never had group therapy, but in my instance my therapist wouldn't take responsibilty for her "errors/slip ups", whatever you want to call them. Sometimes she would and that was good. But at times, when I was sometimes feeling more vulnerable/hurt, realising that it had affected me a lot, she wouldn't. She'd say she was sorry I felt that way, or didn't remember and at times get very defensive.
I honestly feel that I would,ve respected her more and felt far more trusting, if she'd acknowledged her shortcoming. It made me feel that she was acting like my parents who dismissed and denied my feelings so it wasn't a good outcome.
I know that I also have high standards (of myself too) and I have been told that I have unrealistic expectations!
So, I just thought I'd share my view with you! I have read somewhere that therapists should minimise their mistakes but I think it;s hard to foster trust in that setting.

i was ina situation like you at one stage in life and i felt like leaving and not going back but then thought hang on i need to overlook there erors ,im here so all this benifits me and helps me they are here to help me deal with what im going through so i continued going and i made some changers in life and i progressed so i hope you will find your will power within you to benefit you and help you . thank you wish you all the best .

Hi Miranda, thanks for responding and sharing your own similar experience! It's reassuring to hear that others have had the same disheartening experience - it makes me feel like it's not abnormal to react so strongly when a therapist refuses to own up to their mistakes.

Incidentally, I have actually had a wonderful individual therapist who was able to be transparent with me and acknowledge her non-omnipotence. For instance, she once said she felt like she wasn't sure how to respond to me today and that she was afraid I would react badly to her not having anything insightful to contribute. She was genuinely disconcerted, and she was absolutely right that I found it difficult, and I would not have been able to handle it if it had been one of our first sessions. However, because we had already had 10+ sessions during which I had come to trust her a great deal, and also because she was secure enough in her competence to be able to admit it in the very moment when she did feel uncertain it led to a productive talk about how there are shades of grey between my rather black and white experience of people either understanding me or not understanding me. Most of the time she was able to hit the nail on the head and shed light on whatever I was saying, but sometimes she wasn't, and that didn't mean she suddenly didn't care or wasn't competent - it just meant that all people are fallible and that I can't rely on an omnipotent caretaker to always know just how to handle me. I felt like I grew up a little bit there (about 15-20 years later than most people, but oh well! ).

But, it looks like Richard would disagree?

I don't think so? He's just telling me to do the cost-benefit analysis of my options.