Research Question: Steps to Defusing a Hostile Person

I match their body language, their tone, their focus, their level of frustration, their overall feelings. I mirror back what they say. Then I tone it down a bit and ask, that's important because.....? Then I mirror it back again. And then ask them again, oh such and such is important because....? and pretty soon you get to the root value system empowering their pissy mood. Simply find exceptions to the model of how they built what they think is going on.

Ask them, well what if before you got angry you considered that perhaps [insert exceptions], how differently would you think about this now?

ok, so that was a bit of trickery. Going before an invent is almost like saying, hey go into a trance now and lets do some time distortion so we can make a new neural path considering a different possibility and only think about how differently it would be.

Of course now that there's two possible realities to consider their feelings on the subject get diffused or simply collapse. If they still feel the same then the wrong values were elicited and or the wrong exceptions were introduced. no I didn't make this up. It's really fun to do too.