A brief history first if you will allow. I've suffered mood swings all of my life, typical dysfunctional upbringing it seems. This was exaggerated by working for my father for 7 years, hell at times. At the point in relationships when you should be open etc. I clam up and start the downward spiral. Blame work normally. The result is always depression, which is then made worse as my partner leaves,been diagnosed several times by various GP's. Prior to my initial visits to the quack have tried hypnosis (twice), homeopathy, reiki, reflexology, herbal anti depressants, hypnosis tapes and a few other things. All to very limited results.
I have a history of substance abuse, power drinking and narcotics, just to put a smile on my face.
Going through it all again now having split from someone very special, not all my fault but it seeme the lions share of blame belongs to me.
Have purchased a cd that enforces meditative states which is bringing about some changes it seems, alleged to improve full brain functioning, I am predominantly left brained.
Had to go private for counselling, not easy when you've packed your job in and have a mortgage etc.
Went to see a second therapist the other day, she wants to begin ego state therapy and cognative therapy, she's a registered psycho- hypnotherapist. She doesn't seem to agree with person to person counselling but has left the decision to me.
Found the clinical-depression site on sunday, not sure how I missed it before. Very educational, it confirms my own beliefs, I've been studying on the net for 3 months now.
The site seems to agree that normal counselling only reinforces the mindset that is the route of depression.
Now I've rambled, (that is the short version) my question is this. I understand that est is similar in the respect it reviews the past experiences but then the suggestion during the hypnoyic state deals with the past. Is this more productive than merely talking? Or should the cognative therapy be the main area as a way of forward looking and retraining the mind and persona to be more accepting of lifes knocks and remove the incessant negative thoughts. These are after all the cause of my depression certainly and maybe many others.
My understanding is that she wishes to combine the two approaches. The lady in question is NRHP registerd and comes recommended by friends though their sessions have been for things such as smoking.
Any thoughts please!
ego state therapy
12 posts
• Page 1 of 1
by andy » Mon May 17, 2004 10:44 pm
hi sija35, welcome to the forum!
i don't know much about ego state therapy and how it deals with the past. My own view thought is that positive resources in the past should be encouraged in order to help in the future. Negative memories that cause harm in the present should be distanced in order for their impact in the future to diminish.
I've just done a google search and found this information aboutest. This part seems to explain the process:
"Ego state therapy is a therapeutic approach which recognizes that every individual incorporates numerous discreet ego states, with boundaries ranging from non-flexible to highly permeable, making up a "family of self' . . . . . The strategy of therapeutic change is not to eliminate maladaptive ego states, but rather to encourage such an ego state to become more adaptive, to make behavior choices more congruent with the person's overall benefit."
This sounds like it could be along the problem solving route of therapy rather than analytical, which is a good thing. As I say, I don't know much about est, so perhaps others can make further comments.
andy.
i don't know much about ego state therapy and how it deals with the past. My own view thought is that positive resources in the past should be encouraged in order to help in the future. Negative memories that cause harm in the present should be distanced in order for their impact in the future to diminish.
I've just done a google search and found this information aboutest. This part seems to explain the process:
"Ego state therapy is a therapeutic approach which recognizes that every individual incorporates numerous discreet ego states, with boundaries ranging from non-flexible to highly permeable, making up a "family of self' . . . . . The strategy of therapeutic change is not to eliminate maladaptive ego states, but rather to encourage such an ego state to become more adaptive, to make behavior choices more congruent with the person's overall benefit."
This sounds like it could be along the problem solving route of therapy rather than analytical, which is a good thing. As I say, I don't know much about est, so perhaps others can make further comments.
andy.
- andy
by kfedouloff » Tue May 18, 2004 2:57 pm
Hi Sija35!
That sounds like what I would call "Parts Therapy" - where you imagine yourself as made up of a cast of characters, all of whom have intentions to be of value to you. In life, we often experience these parts as being in conflict (eg: part of me wants to... but part of me doesn't). In parts therapy, or ego state therapy, you can metaphorically bring these parts into a negotiation over the area of conflict, so that they collaborate better rather than getting in each other's way. It can be a very effective approach!
Kathleen
That sounds like what I would call "Parts Therapy" - where you imagine yourself as made up of a cast of characters, all of whom have intentions to be of value to you. In life, we often experience these parts as being in conflict (eg: part of me wants to... but part of me doesn't). In parts therapy, or ego state therapy, you can metaphorically bring these parts into a negotiation over the area of conflict, so that they collaborate better rather than getting in each other's way. It can be a very effective approach!
Kathleen
- kfedouloff
- MVP
- Posts: 2522
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 3:19 pm
- Likes Received: 0
by sija35 » Wed May 19, 2004 8:56 am
Thanks for your efforts and attention.
I have a further question, I posted it yesterday but Roger has requested that I re send it as a reply so here it is.
As discussed I have pretty much always been a sufferer of mood swings, the falling apart of a relationship, particularly in the last ten years sends me spiralling in to depression. This at times seems to be as severe as Bi-Polar with mainly real lows and the occasional unexplained and very uncomfortable high. They can last up to a few hours and are worse than the lows, very uncomfortable and scary.
Over the years as mentioned I have tried loads of things to help keep me up under normal circumstances, St. Johns Wort seems to have no effect. Seretone 5-HTP has helped a little but not enough in the bad times.
I'm intending not to need anything in the future but for now have bought a product from the states to try. There is little research available and none that is perticularly encouraging except the claims of the sellers and their "customer testimonials". Something of which I am wary, anyone could have written them.
It's called "Lithium Orotate, a so called herbal version of the highly toxic drug commonly used in severe cases over the years.
I've bought a four month course and am hoping not to need any more after the est previously mentioned is under way.
Have you heard of the product before, ask the expert on google isn't very excited about it and I am a little concerned about any long term side effects.
It hasn't been passed by the US FDA, apparently it doesn't need to be. They claim the German authorities have passed it, the Dr. behind it, Hans Napier I believe, seems to widely known.
I have a further question, I posted it yesterday but Roger has requested that I re send it as a reply so here it is.
As discussed I have pretty much always been a sufferer of mood swings, the falling apart of a relationship, particularly in the last ten years sends me spiralling in to depression. This at times seems to be as severe as Bi-Polar with mainly real lows and the occasional unexplained and very uncomfortable high. They can last up to a few hours and are worse than the lows, very uncomfortable and scary.
Over the years as mentioned I have tried loads of things to help keep me up under normal circumstances, St. Johns Wort seems to have no effect. Seretone 5-HTP has helped a little but not enough in the bad times.
I'm intending not to need anything in the future but for now have bought a product from the states to try. There is little research available and none that is perticularly encouraging except the claims of the sellers and their "customer testimonials". Something of which I am wary, anyone could have written them.
It's called "Lithium Orotate, a so called herbal version of the highly toxic drug commonly used in severe cases over the years.
I've bought a four month course and am hoping not to need any more after the est previously mentioned is under way.
Have you heard of the product before, ask the expert on google isn't very excited about it and I am a little concerned about any long term side effects.
It hasn't been passed by the US FDA, apparently it doesn't need to be. They claim the German authorities have passed it, the Dr. behind it, Hans Napier I believe, seems to widely known.
by kfedouloff » Wed May 19, 2004 11:53 am
Hi sija35
I haven't heard of Lithium Orotate, so don't know anything about it. I agree, however, that it pays to be sceptical about the anecdotal evidence you read on the back of the bottle!
I wonder if you have had a look at the part of the Depression Learning Path which concerns Thinking Styles?
Looking at how you interpret the events in your life, your characteristic way of explaining things to yourself, could be illuminating. Thinking styles are not irrevocably fixed - you can learn to think differently!
Kathleen
I haven't heard of Lithium Orotate, so don't know anything about it. I agree, however, that it pays to be sceptical about the anecdotal evidence you read on the back of the bottle!
I wonder if you have had a look at the part of the Depression Learning Path which concerns Thinking Styles?
Looking at how you interpret the events in your life, your characteristic way of explaining things to yourself, could be illuminating. Thinking styles are not irrevocably fixed - you can learn to think differently!
Kathleen
- kfedouloff
- MVP
- Posts: 2522
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 3:19 pm
- Likes Received: 0
by kfedouloff » Wed May 19, 2004 5:21 pm
That was hearfelt, sija35! I certainly don't want to put pressures on you when you are already making so much effort! What kind of methods have you been using (if you don't mind sharing)? What have you found helpful? What was unhelpful?
Kathleen
Kathleen
- kfedouloff
- MVP
- Posts: 2522
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 3:19 pm
- Likes Received: 0
by sija35 » Mon May 24, 2004 7:04 pm
You name it, I've probably had a go. One single hypnosis in my twenties then a course of ten 3 years ago. Seroxat and one which name eludes me for 2 months in total which made me feel ill so I stopped them voluntarily. Hypnosis tapes for years on and off, St. Johns Wort, Seretone 5 HTP, Chinese herbal medicine and acupuncture, now meditation and Lithium Orotate, counselling and finally EST.
Have researched diets and eat well when I can eat at all plus take supplements to make sure there is something healthy going in for the days when food is off.
Pretty desperate as I'm sure you've gathered, the depression has been with me all of my life it seems, though mild most of the time. Every 2 to 3 years wham!!!
No sleep at all for months at times, no appetite and severe weight loss, 3 1/2 stones this time. Teeth ground away at the back, eye pain????
I know so well now that it's my mindset responsible and am trying so hard to get it together for the last time, this has to and is going away for good this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have researched diets and eat well when I can eat at all plus take supplements to make sure there is something healthy going in for the days when food is off.
Pretty desperate as I'm sure you've gathered, the depression has been with me all of my life it seems, though mild most of the time. Every 2 to 3 years wham!!!
No sleep at all for months at times, no appetite and severe weight loss, 3 1/2 stones this time. Teeth ground away at the back, eye pain????
I know so well now that it's my mindset responsible and am trying so hard to get it together for the last time, this has to and is going away for good this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by sija35 » Tue May 25, 2004 10:27 am
Forgot to reply completely.
Have also bought full spectrum lighting for around the house. Over the years I've been a heavy drinker, since I was 14 really, it releases me to smile most of the time. Very strange at the age of thirty started to use hard drugs as well, used pot as a kid but since the bad breakup at thirty have tried most hard stuff except the big "H". Far from proud of these exploits.
Nothing has helped long term except the booze, as you're aware though, the effects are short lived and the repercussions severe.
I'm pretty clean now, social drinking is my limit now, not the power drinking of so many years.
Have stayed away from the drugs apart from a couple of slips in smoking a joint to help me sleep.
Never realised how messed up I've been, associating with drinkers etc. masks reallity, makes the drinking ok I suppose. That's to say nothing of the drugs previously used.
Have also bought full spectrum lighting for around the house. Over the years I've been a heavy drinker, since I was 14 really, it releases me to smile most of the time. Very strange at the age of thirty started to use hard drugs as well, used pot as a kid but since the bad breakup at thirty have tried most hard stuff except the big "H". Far from proud of these exploits.
Nothing has helped long term except the booze, as you're aware though, the effects are short lived and the repercussions severe.
I'm pretty clean now, social drinking is my limit now, not the power drinking of so many years.
Have stayed away from the drugs apart from a couple of slips in smoking a joint to help me sleep.
Never realised how messed up I've been, associating with drinkers etc. masks reallity, makes the drinking ok I suppose. That's to say nothing of the drugs previously used.
by kfedouloff » Tue May 25, 2004 4:39 pm
Well, sounds like you can be pretty proud of that, sija35 - you have clearly made huge efforts, and actually succeeded in making big changes already, so you should give yourself credit for that.
We started off talking about mindset and thinking styles, and I was wondering if you could describe your own habitual thinking style.
For example, suppose a stranger does something kind for you, like alerts you that you've left your wallet in the restaurant. What kind of thoughts go through your head about having such an experience?
Or suppose something unpleasant happens, like a shop assistant being rude and aggressive to you. What kind of thoughts do you typically have about such an experience?
Just wondering!
Kathleen
We started off talking about mindset and thinking styles, and I was wondering if you could describe your own habitual thinking style.
For example, suppose a stranger does something kind for you, like alerts you that you've left your wallet in the restaurant. What kind of thoughts go through your head about having such an experience?
Or suppose something unpleasant happens, like a shop assistant being rude and aggressive to you. What kind of thoughts do you typically have about such an experience?
Just wondering!
Kathleen
- kfedouloff
- MVP
- Posts: 2522
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 3:19 pm
- Likes Received: 0
by sija35 » Tue May 25, 2004 5:16 pm
In general first, I try really hard to tnink positively as much as humanly possible, not always with any great success.
To do with kindness, from a stranger I tend to be grateful most of the time, smile and say thanks. With someone close it can feel really awkward, my ex did so many good things ans I could barely acknowledge the fact. Gave me money when she won a small amount on the lotto, she had to force me to asccept by leaving it on the fireplace. I could barely say a word never mind be gracious.
She booked a very expensive holiday for us and my last birthday, I haven't been away for 6 years. I couldn't handle it with any grace or grattitude so went to buy a book on this far away place, it was just too much, was expecting a week self catering cancellation type bargain, not 2 weeks all inclusive in the carribean. We didn't go, split before the dates.
Suppose I'm not used to accepting kindness in a way, deep down do I believe I deserve it, at times it may be a feeling that someone else is in control not me.
Doing for her was what kept me going though it was all materialistic, acting like a parent and waiting on her hand and foot. Never being able to relax and be close to her physically or emotionally was what finished us. She just couldn't cope with the distance and coldness of my behaviour.
It's the chicken and egg thing though it feels that the low begins at the same time as I withdraw emotionally, keep going in the rut, it goes wrong then I spiral in to severe depression and self flaggelation for months.
I am trying really hard, on the net most of the time trying to learn about depression and thinking styles amongst other things.
To do with kindness, from a stranger I tend to be grateful most of the time, smile and say thanks. With someone close it can feel really awkward, my ex did so many good things ans I could barely acknowledge the fact. Gave me money when she won a small amount on the lotto, she had to force me to asccept by leaving it on the fireplace. I could barely say a word never mind be gracious.
She booked a very expensive holiday for us and my last birthday, I haven't been away for 6 years. I couldn't handle it with any grace or grattitude so went to buy a book on this far away place, it was just too much, was expecting a week self catering cancellation type bargain, not 2 weeks all inclusive in the carribean. We didn't go, split before the dates.
Suppose I'm not used to accepting kindness in a way, deep down do I believe I deserve it, at times it may be a feeling that someone else is in control not me.
Doing for her was what kept me going though it was all materialistic, acting like a parent and waiting on her hand and foot. Never being able to relax and be close to her physically or emotionally was what finished us. She just couldn't cope with the distance and coldness of my behaviour.
It's the chicken and egg thing though it feels that the low begins at the same time as I withdraw emotionally, keep going in the rut, it goes wrong then I spiral in to severe depression and self flaggelation for months.
I am trying really hard, on the net most of the time trying to learn about depression and thinking styles amongst other things.
by sija35 » Tue May 25, 2004 5:31 pm
Ah, the rude shop assisstant scenario. Really does depend on my mood I suppose. The most common reaction would be to leave avoiding confrontation then get really annoyed later. This could be bottled up or taken out in a different form an someons close who has no responsibility.
NOT GOOD AT ALL!!!!!!!
Suppose in fairness I have always shyed away from conflict. My father was only really there for discipline, my mun couldn't do it so she used him to administer any punishment.
Was quite incipid at school apart from the class joker thing, attention seeking. Have maintained this so called pacifist approach to date though in fairness I can be scared of people and places at times, especially when sober.
All mouth and no trousers!
Not saying that violence or arguing is the answer but we all should have the minerals to stand up for ourselves. At times I can be very assertive, towards people I know, some are even scared of me because my temper and evil stare are very effective with some people. Ally that with a vicious tongue and it can be a little uncomfortable.
Another defence mechanism would you agree?
NOT GOOD AT ALL!!!!!!!
Suppose in fairness I have always shyed away from conflict. My father was only really there for discipline, my mun couldn't do it so she used him to administer any punishment.
Was quite incipid at school apart from the class joker thing, attention seeking. Have maintained this so called pacifist approach to date though in fairness I can be scared of people and places at times, especially when sober.
All mouth and no trousers!
Not saying that violence or arguing is the answer but we all should have the minerals to stand up for ourselves. At times I can be very assertive, towards people I know, some are even scared of me because my temper and evil stare are very effective with some people. Ally that with a vicious tongue and it can be a little uncomfortable.
Another defence mechanism would you agree?
12 posts
• Page 1 of 1
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
-
What kind of state are people usually in day to day?
- 5
- 1163
-
Tue Oct 05, 2021 5:08 pm
by Richard@DecisionSkills
-
What kind of state are people usually in day to day?
-
-
What therapy is best for anger?
- 1
- 1034
-
Tue Dec 07, 2021 11:20 pm
by Leo Volont
-
What therapy is best for anger?
-
-
music as therapy
- 1
- 323
-
Mon Jan 17, 2022 3:46 am
by mjseedscanada
-
music as therapy
-
-
What is the best therapy for anger management?
- 3
- 943
-
Fri Nov 19, 2021 8:57 am
by Leo Volont
-
What is the best therapy for anger management?
-
-
Pros and Cons of Therapy
- 4
- 628
-
Mon Nov 15, 2021 7:30 pm
by WeWillHeal
-
Pros and Cons of Therapy