Scary-out of stock

@CandyApples,

I see things from a much different perspective. This might be;

-1- Due to my background, having responded to multiple natural disasters over the years and;
-2- Currently being in Zhangjiagang, China where we are all wearing masks.

Yes, people run out of supplies in a hurry. Basic things do get bought out. This happens because it is unreasonable to expect stores or governments to stockpile mass amounts of every conceivable emergency supply for every conceivable emergency situation for every person.

Instead, stockpiles of reasonable amounts are kept and then relocated to disaster areas, but this understandably takes time. It is a feat of logistics.

People, in my experience, don't greedily buy 5 times more than they need. Emergencies are by definition full of uncertainty. People buy not knowing what they need. And they buy not just for themselves, but for friends and neighbors.

For instance, prior to coming to China I went to my local hardware store and bought 12 masks. Why? Because of space available in my luggage and I was uncertain how many were needed or who might need them. That was back around 30 of Jan.

And people don't fight over water in my experience. Every single disaster I have ever responded to people were cooperating, helping each other, coming together as a community.

I'm not saying you can't point to outliers. I'm not saying that some level of looting, crime and other bad acts don't take place, but I am saying it is not some greedy, selfish, panic-stricken, apocalyptic free for all.

In other words, I completely disagree that "people turn so quick" and its "everyone for themselves". It is exactly the opposite. And I have responded to floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, and now a virus.

Based on your posts about "wolf pack" mentalities, etc. you seem to take a fairly pessimistic view of human nature. You seem to live in a different world than me where everyone is out to get each other regardless if a hurricane is coming or not.

Oh wow your in china, that has to be amazing and a little scary all at once. How are they doing over there? And yes you got me again, I have been told Im glass half empty when it comes to human nature. Thats not to say I dont see the beauty in indiviuals or have not witnessed by fair share of kindness, but over all, I just...over all ..people...hmm the more years go by, they just seem worse..and I see less of..open your door to help your neighbor, kids riding bikes and playing ball outside, family sunday dinners, so much has changed and is replaced by shootings, cyber creeps killing people, lack of hey how are ya bc everyone is on their phones, people getting stabbed for cutting you off in traffic...granted we have news which just blasts it everywhere, but daily I see more awful then I do good. Last year we had a hurriance that was suppose to be a direct hit.
I watched two men fight in Publix over water. Hurricane never hit. I just have seen things, beyond this that --oh yes the word is cynical, Been that way since I was a young teen. I dont think its necessarily bad, I think as the quote goes " a man without a trace of sadness on his face, shows that his thoughts are not deep."
I think its great you do charity work. In my past part of my career held the hands of the dying, helped the injured, held the hand of a grown man who was terrified for example.. Im first to pull over my car if I see a wreck and once held pressure on a man hit by a car whos arm has basically severed in half...I do not dismiss compassion and human worth one bit. But over all, I do feel when stuff hits the fan, we probably as a whole will tear eachother apart. Will there be groups like you who want to help and promote peace, Im sure...but it will not be a massive of the ones who are just out for themselves.
ps need just one mask for my mom....cant find one..anywhere that will deliver to her up north.--thats a helpless feeling.

CandyApples wrote:...granted we have news

Yes. And as the saying goes “if it bleeds it leads”. The news promotes stories that generate fear and promote your pessimism. Any good stories are relegated to page 5. The news confirms what you wish to believe.

I watched two men fight in Publix over water.

Two? Out of how many people that purchased everything else without issue? It’s a rhetorical question. For the hurricane people purchased water, gas, plywood, canned foods, etc. etc. etc. You watched hundreds/thousands of transactions, people behaving kind to one another and you ignore/dismiss or failed to notice. Why? Because you are primed to focus on what you want to believe, that people are bad.

https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/ ... omenon.htm

But over all, I do feel when stuff hits the fan, we probably as a whole will tear eachother apart. Will there be groups like you who want to help and promote peace, Im sure...but it will not be a massive of the ones who are just out for themselves.

And like I said, this is your opinion, the way you see the world based on your negativity. You pull over, you help, you perform good deeds, but no one else? You are good but the majority is bad in your world.

I don’t do charity work. I have lived experience with multiple disasters and over twenty years in government service where I responded to emergency calls for service. In my experience most people are good and willing to help their community during a crisis. Your view, in my opinion, is jaded and simply not an accurate reflection of how people actually respond during a crisis.

ps need just one mask for my mom....cant find one..anywhere that will deliver to her up north.-thats a helpless feeling.

The masks work to keep the person wearing the mask from spreading the virus. It does not help the person wearing the mask from contracting the virus. Therefore, your mother having or not having the mask will not stop her from contracting the virus. It will only help her not spread the virus should she get infected.

And the above paragraph proves my point about the innate good, cooperative nature of humanity. Everyone in China, over a billion people wearing masks, not because of the law, but voluntarily as to give comfort to others that if they are unknowingly infected that they will not be spreading the mask to their fellow human.

If, like you believe most humans are only out for themselves then a large percentage of people would refuse to spend the money or wear the masks. Why should they? Wearing the mask doesn’t help them, it only helps their family, friends, and community.

CandyApples wrote:Last year we had a hurriance that was suppose to be a direct hit. I watched two men fight in Publix over water. Hurricane never hit.

"Publix . . . where shopping is a pleasure!"

I'll bet things were brought back into order in relatively short order. I find Publix to be an excellent company all around, coming from my extensive consumer experience.

"I watched two men fight over . . ." I've heard that sometimes women fight over sale items at retail stores, now that's a crisis that needs attending!

These things happen in a "crisis" and they happen in everyday life. People are always experiencing their (psychological) life through interacting with others, and sometimes those interactions may be a little rough. Those with self-reflective tendencies will eventually learn how to navigate and even avoid interactions of this type.

CandyApples wrote:ps need just one mask

A note about this whole mess of people getting sick all around. People don't get sick if their internal terrain is clean. It is the culture of filthy living habits that creates sickness. The large part of these habits is daily diet, though that doesn't discount other environmental factors in the equation, including one's mental-emotional environment.

A vast majority of people living in Western cultures are flesh-eating, junk-food-eating organisms. The organism we were blessed with at birth has been systematically degraded with cultural lifestyle values that lead to pain, sickness, early death. It takes one with a will to learn the truth about such matters, creating his life accordingly, who will see this matter for what it really is . . .

QuietVoice I actually totally agree with you, exp your last two paragraphs....you are very right and I dont see how anyone can know that and be skipping down rainbows. I mean a lil off topic, but the wildfires in austrailia, those poor poor animals, bc people were careless... to Richards point, it was people who also helped the burnt animals, but to me I see it as persons helped and people over all destroyed.

The publix ordeal, for Richard, was focused on because the storm wasnt even near us yet, there was zero cause for alarm at that point, we had a "maybe" with multiple options on where and if it would hit (it wasnt til later that it was deemed a direct hit-but never did) so...the fact that those two people did that to me was crazy, that doesnt count the rest of the weeks display of people being stupid, it was just one thing that stuck out in my mind. The shelves were also stacked with water still, this was over 1 jug of the many. What gives anyone the right to hurt another in such a situation?

I also am not saying Im the only one who pulls over and helps. I mentioned that in hopes to show you Im not sitting in the shadows with a black cape around me grumbling at how awful the world is. I think anyone with eyes could see the statistical number of good and bad is not even, there is some good, but the most is bad, Im not sure how that is denied? It doesnt have to be complete chaos to know that. To me it takes one person suffering unjustly with 100 people watching and doing nothing, that makes my point.

I think ppl wear masks in china to protect themselves, I do not think everyone is thinking, gee, I want to make sure no one else gets sick, without any regard for themselves. I'm not over there nor have to worry about it just yet, but this is how I feel at the moment.
I know the 1 mask wont help my mom but its they symbolism to me to just try and get her one,and the fact that that is almost impossible speaks volumes I feel.
Quiet Voice, yes women can get in a uproar too over shopping, I mean look at Black Friday. My point is, it takes things like a "possible" health scare or a 20% sale to really bring out the worse in people.......I dont know, I guess only time will tell --will society be this peace loving do gooder group, or will they destroy themselves and the planet? Again, just to really really point it out, I am saying there are individuals are/do good, its humans as a whole that I can not say that towards. All people, even the best most perfect sweetest person has skeletons, has a darkness, we are not without fault, and to deny that to me is absurd. Most people handle it, but there is alot who wont. I think different experiences for us have led to our different opinions. Your time Richard with goverment, surrounded you with like minded people whos main goal was to respond to disaters, which is probably why you saw the strength and wonder on when people group up and do good, how amazing it is. We will send food and supplies to a state that was torn apart by a storm, we will rebuild towns destroyed by fire...but the day to day life, the main picture of the constant distruction not weather related is caused by people who have no intention on being apart of your group, or pulling over when someones hurt, etc...
Example: Police officers, a group to withhold justice and put their lives on the line to save people. Why do we need them though? Bc people as a whole can not be criminals. Not persons, but people as a huge word. Not sure if Im making sense. In the end we all have our views and we do not have to agree to have a healthy converstation

After taking a moment to regroup, I chose to sign back on and just mention this. Uncommon knowledge is a place and per its topics --a go to to talk about things we are not too happy about, like our anger, our anxiety, depression, issues with relationships...people flock to this when they are not feeling too hot, or when they are not thinking about the good things.

It is important to note when people respond or talk about things on here at least, that they more than likely will not dive into the goodness in the world, or their happy days. That is not its purpose on here as far as the one who posts. Now the respondee may answer the post with a pick me up, that is expected, but I just want to mention and hope that people do not judge people by their posts and outlook at hand, as after all we are on a website for those who are going through some form of mental issue or emotional issue, and need to vent or work though that storm. You can not cast someone as being a debbie downer or a black cloud based off that when they are rightfully so-- venting their frustrations or woes in a place, simply made for that. Now if we had "Oh happy day" forums, I think alot of us on here could also very easily post about the most happiest things and be the brightest in the room. I just wanted to mention that.

I find true friends stick by your side in your darkest hour, not just when your happy.
One of the most prettiest things I have ever witnessed in nature, was a rainbow within the storm clouds. Not the rainbow by itself, and not the storm alone, but both combined.
TY.

CandyApples wrote:I have been told Im glass half empty when it comes to human nature. Thats not to say I dont see the beauty in indiviuals or have not witnessed by fair share of kindness, but over all, I just...over all ..people...hmm the more years go by, they just seem worse..

With respect, this is what you're choosing to see. Also, it reads like you don't include yourself in the "people are getting worse" scenario.

My main career was in the print media. There was a time when some people started a "good news" paper, just stories about good things happening in the world, and people spending their lives in benevolent actions. That paper folded within weeks. Magazines and newspapers make their profits from advertisers, NOT readers, and advertisers keep a close eye on circulation figures, so one focuses on salacious details (true or invented) about 'celebrities' and the other focuses on natural as well as man-made disasters. The cover story in particular needs to be as horrifying as possible, so people queueing at the cash register will see the SHOCK headline and pick it up, maybe become regular subscribers. Why is this so? Because good news doesn't sell.

As individuals, too, we're always scanning our environment for potential hazards and we have a well-honed interest in looking always for what's wrong, so the cheerful optimist is always going to be in the minority. Why? Because we expect the world and its people to be good, and function right; we take that for granted. What we notice is the one dead rose in the vase, the rubbish left at the side of an otherwise clean road, the drunk yelling obscenities while other people pass him by. We've evolved to look for what's wrong so we can fix it. Good stuff doesn't need management; bad stuff does.

daily I see more awful then I do good.

Then consider the words of GandhI: "Be the change you want to see in the world." Instead of wringing your hands over all the wrongness you perceive, pick something where your actions will make a difference and take up the cause... but don't make it disgust at other members of your own species. People are fundamentally good, and prefer to do good (because it just FEELS better) but many people suffer horribly, things they've learned not to talk about, and their psyches can't let it rest, they will 'act out' when triggered as if they've been hypnotised. You can either stay away, as most people do, or try to find out what's wrong and what, if anything, you can do about it. People doing bad things are accustomed to being shunned and/or punished. It feeds whatever ails them. What surprises, what registers, what makes a difference, is when someone like you or me responds differently to bad behaviour, not rewarding it, but treating the miscreant with respect and dignity.

ps need just one mask for my mom....cant find one..anywhere that will deliver to her up north.--thats a helpless feeling.

Richard has explained that masks are for people already infected, to prevent them infecting others. A mask for mom may give her false security, so that she'd be better off without one. Just a thought.

We've had regular waves of scary illnesses throughout our long history on this planet. They're something that arise naturally as products of evolution, and we too keep evolving -- especially in the matter of keeping ourselves alive. This too shall pass.

CandyApples wrote:--will society be this peace loving do gooder group, or will they destroy themselves and the planet?

Candid wrote:Instead of wringing your hands over all the wrongness you perceive, pick something where your actions will make a difference and take up the cause...

Here's one thing you can do and only you can do and only each individual themself can do—go vegan. Stop being cruel, stop eating cruelty, stop destroying health, stop destroying the environment with high volume 'animal agriculture'. It is an imperative today for this planet that the majority follow vegan lifestyle.

You mentioned about a cleaner diet in another thread, what do you mean by cleaner diet?

edit:
Found in comment section of latest Joey Carbstrong video . . .

He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals.

~ Immanuel Kant, German philosopher (1724 –1804)

Hi Candid, you are very right and I suppose I do choose to see things in a half empty perspective when it comes to human nature. I most certainly consider myself one of the ones getting worse (not criminally tho), I most def have flaw and can feel myself growing more angry, more paranoid I suppose as the years go by. I think people/society as a whole is not making the best progress at the moment. I dont see us regular people getting the help we need, and our resources are getting less in less. People are hurting others without a blink of the eye, for sport , for laughter, way more than they did say 60 years ago. (not including wars obv)...could be the outlet of the news though.

I feel bad that my posts may discredit the good Richards government work does, or the positive energy you have Candid, I think those things matter very much and do not go unnoticed, exp with people like me. I thank goodness to the point of tears when someone does selfless acts. When we had that hurricane scare, it didnt hit but we got strong winds, enough to blow our lani off. The very next day, a neighbor who we never spoke to and vise versa, walked outside where I was standing and asked if we were ok. Those words hit me like bricks, and I was in awe of -thats the very first thing he thought and said to me. It made a impact.

Quietvoice, I do not eat meat, I tried vegan and got very sick because I was not eating supplemental nutrition as I'm very picky on fruits, beans, etc. ( I dont see the sun much as I spend most of my time awake at night- or atleast outside-so my vit D was way off and I dont do dairy) I drink nothing but water over all and try my best to be mindful though I could be better at it. I volunteer at an animal rescue place, and my job is to go out to the injured animal and bring it back to them. Is it enough-no, do I eat totally ethically--no, but my strong suit is rescue, and I dont mind going out at all hours, so its what I do I guess. Its how I contribute.

Candid, again you are totally right, horrible news sells and creates hysteria. I was a little more glass half full when I lived on my own and didnt own a tv. My mom has a compromised immune system and is disabled and if you look at her wrong she gets sick it feels like, so shes someone along with my grandma I feel needs a little help. If you were to see me in person, I walk and talk bubbly, I act bubbly and put forth physical effort to be kind and positive to people. It is on here that I let all the "darkness, saddness? lack of words" out as I just need a place to vent and share perspectives. Like I said, since I started on here I have felt a little better over all.

In a world of people with their face in the phones, virutal relationships and tv dinners, the values that are lost within this new age is what bothers me the most. And it feels like society forces it upon you. My box tv wouldnt work without this cable box thing now, my vcr I kept and only have vhs, I just now had to get a touch screen phone as the metro guy didnt have any "button phones" in stock.--so it felt forced to change or conform into the modern era without much choice. Thankgoodness my husband is ok with me conducting my life to where I am home to cook meals each day and be super active in my kids life and taking care of the homestead bc if we all were working and exhausted there goes your poorer nutrition and the kiddo being baby sat by social media. Things like that, just its like the movie I mentioned in another post The Village. That is my mind, my idea of safe haven and how it should be and why.

CandyApples wrote:You can not cast someone as being a debbie downer or a black cloud based off that when they are rightfully so-- venting their frustrations or woes in a place, simply made for that.

CandyApples, the world is a dark place for you because you regularly contribute to the darkness. Your view of how the world is versus how you wish it should be, actively adds to the darkness. You pass along the negativity the same as any news channel.

When do you stop adding more darkness to your world? When the world changes for you?

And this takes me to your idea that this forum is rightfully a place simply made for venting frustrations. This is more evidence of your repetitive struggle to avoid addressing your own issues and instead shape or bend the external world to what you want.

You joined the forum less than a month ago. The only people responding to your threads have been participating in the forum for no less than six years. And now you wish to remind those people what this forum is all about and how it is supposed to be?

Your personal journal is a place rightfully made simply for venting. A close friend, confidant, or parent might be another way to vent, but more than likely this is a reason many people find themselves without many friends. People have limits and get tired of a friend constantly explaining how the world is bad and how it should be.

Why not vent to your husband on a regular basis? Maybe he is not so fond of it anymore? Why vent to anonymous strangers?

You mention true friends stick by you in your darkest hour. That is true, but you must have those friends first. If you have no friends because your darkness is a slow, constant drumbeat then when something actually dark does occur there will be few, if any, friends left.

This forum is not simply a place to vent. What you consider "supportive" and the extent to which any sort of judgment takes place is probably different in your mind than the minds of other members. We each have a bit of a different perspective on those things.

I don't think that just listening to a person repetitively be a "debbie downer" is being very supportive. It isn't helpful to the poster or the community. The purpose of the forum is for people to find help in the advice that is provided. It isn't just for a person to vent and spread their negative view on life. Instead, the forum allows people to read a variety of perspectives on the issue. It is a public discussion and it is a discussion that is not always agreeable.

In my opinion you are focused on trying to control or dictate to the external world how things should be. You complain about the darkness, yet it is of your own creation.

Interesting. I have to disagree. I made what maybe 7 posts about things that trouble me. Out of the average span of a persons life that is very minor. Take, for example, a police officer, (my family is full of them)--they put their badge on and risk their lives to help people....do they not at times find themselves at the breaking point of some horror they witnessed, just one bad thing, stick in their minds and warp their view of humanity? Would they not, in a journal or to themselves, tell a tale of a darker vision that most would not want to hear? Are they not allowed to have these views? Are these probably people you have encountered on the daily, that you would have no idea thats how they are feeling??If you say no, then that is a fantasy bc I have witnessed otherwise.

I dont think I contribute at all to the over all madness. I dont kill kids, I dont torture animals, I dont do drugs and forget to feed my baby, I dont riot or burn buildings over loot or kick the homeless---etc--etc etc---

What I am guilty of is reacting to it. Perhaps you have not gone through that one or two things that breaks you. I hope you never do. I--have. Everyone has the one (maybe more?) breaking point. It could be loss of a dog, or something on the other end of the spectrum like a medic coming back from war. Some people notice things more, cant help it. Some people love so hard and so deep and put a few eggs in one basket that when one breaks or two, it throws them off way more than your average joe.

On a lighter note..more in the daily-

Where I live I witness blatant acts of ridiculous human behavior on the daily. On a small scale, take the drug house down the road, where 5 of the "ex inmates" race their dirt bikes up and down the road for hours, or their drug car that goes way to fast and already crashed into your neighbors fence, then the other time hit a parked car. What about the shady character who is always knocking to "check the windows" or going back to drug house, the lovely fellow waving a gun in the driveway, or the two strung out ppl sleeping in your front yard, let alone the none stop noise pollution of the traffic at all hours (a hsp hell--hsp is a real thing also) Anways,. Videotaped and reported multiple time, with zero help. That...is one small, atom sized issue that I see on the daily and Im sorry it isnt fun. Sprinkle that flavor to the potroast of the bigger issues and yup, Im cynical alright and open enough to air things that people refuse to acknowledge.

I also do not think I said anything remotely that terrible on here nor have to suffer like someone in a 3rd world country for my feelings to be justified.

I also disagree to the point of these forums. I do think it is made for people to vent and seek conversations on their issues. Again I refer to the topics. The readers have a choice to click or not to click if it bugs them. Your 6 years to my short time here I do not think comes in to play with what I write nor what others write. I just know when I read a post, I could not come at someone with such intenseness just because they write what's bugging them bc I have no idea what they have gone through or what they are truly feeling. We are all onions with many layers.

When people are going through a mental or emotional issue, basic studies show they become hyper focused on that, and only tell apart of their self that is in that moment...you cant not expect 100% rational thought, and to think one knows someone from a post or posts---seems--very silly to me.

As for the part of my husband, I will play into that, and just say the basic, sure Im a nag...all I do is nag and mope and rain clouds follow me around all day. I toss things at people bc nothing is good enough and the horror of love and joy...... Its a terrible sight wouldnt you know... ... .... .... ..... ..... honestly? That just felt more like a low blow versus a true question, but I could be wrong. p.s. My husband has the same views as I do on society but worse-it is one major conversation we can agree on but he has a outlet for it. I also feel I express myself as a open book and have been very raw and honest on here knowing the bite back isnt going to be so hot.

CandyApples wrote:I dont think I contribute at all to the over all madness. I dont kill kids, I dont torture animals, I dont do drugs and forget to feed my baby, I dont riot or burn buildings over loot or kick the homeless---etc--etc etc---.

No, you just pass along again and again that the above is what the majority of humanity is doing...except you and some minority of do-gooders. You repeat your negative view of the world, which in my opinion, feeds the madness.

You wish to believe that you are just reacting to the madness. This allows you to avoid confronting your role in contributing to the very world you wish to be different.

My mention of the role your husband plays in listening to your negativity is not intended as some sort of low blow. It is an honest question given your past posts about how your husband does as he wishes and it was your father that was responsible for most of your smiles and the shoulder on which to cry and share your burdens.

I certainly have responded to my fair share of calls that can warp one's sense of humanity. I have vivid memories. I watched a gunshot victim slowly stop breathing. I testified in two capital murder trials, both men sentenced to death. I gave CPR twice and failed twice. I watched the young teenager of one of the men I provided CPR weep over his father's body. I responded to 12 dead, buried under a pile of wood that had collapsed. I remember a case where the man tried to dig the bullet out of a victim's brain before giving up and setting the house of fire.

Those are just some off the top of my head.

Do these traumatic events make me think humanity is innately evil and that we need to isolate ourselves, watch the news, and then slowly beat the drum as we feed and contribute to the madness, "humanity bad, humanity bad, humanity bad."

I don't think so. Because I can point to the thousands of calls where people were decent, good, helpful and just wanted to leave in peace. I don't remember those calls quite the same, because as Candid has pointed out those are "normal" and how we generally expect people to act. And they do.

The reason for police is not to be the stop gap between the huge mass of horrible humanity, the few good, against the majority bad. It is that there are certainly bad actors in the world. There is suffering, some bad things happen. Therefore, we have a handful of people that step into those roles to deal with the minor elements of humanity that sometimes do bad things.

CandyApples wrote:Interesting. I have to disagree.

Why does this not surprise me? Because one morning I logged in as usual and saw several posts from a new member, and the theme of all of them was that your presumed nearest and dearest were a bad lot, somehow forcing you to do lots of (to me) petty things you resented... and I thought Whoa! What have we here?

Take, for example, a police officer [....] do they not at times find themselves at the breaking point of some horror they witnessed, just one bad thing, stick in their minds and warp their view of humanity?

Probably not; more likely they signed up in order to be the change they wanted to see in the world, actually do something to help rather than try to convince everyone else to admit the sky was falling. Surely even you can see that being 'forced' to buy Christmas napkins you don't like or whatever it was just isn't on the same scale?

Would they not, in a journal or to themselves, tell a tale of a darker vision that most would not want to hear?

As pointed out already, requiring happier souls to look at the horror you see is neither helpful nor wise, just adds to the sum total of misery in the world. Telling it to yourself doesn't accomplish anything positive, either.

Are these probably people you have encountered on the daily, that you would have no idea thats how they are feeling??If you say no, then that is a fantasy bc I have witnessed otherwise.

Because you're right and other people are wrong, yeah? And you think that worldview is different to everyone else's?

What I am guilty of is reacting to it.

Of the ways there are of reacting to it, doing something about it is most helpful while obliging other people to say "Ain't it awful?" is not helpful at all, and will never win you the followers you'd like to have.

Where I live I witness blatant acts of ridiculous human behavior on the daily.

Shift your focus.

I also disagree to the point of these forums.

Apart from your reluctance to read earlier replies on any given thread, I've also seen you airily saying you'll get around to the Forum Rules sometime. Would you consider looking for a forum that better suits your argumentative style, or do you think you're going to revolutionise this one to the point where we're all playing Ain't it awful with you?

Your 6 years to my short time here I do not think comes in to play with what I write

Might not that, and the abovementioned dismissal of what other members have already said on any given topic, be the reason you struggle in significant relationships? How would you feel about a newcomer to your social group demanding that everyone dance to her tune while expressing contempt for established mores and what's gone before?

... have been very raw and honest on here knowing the bite back isnt going to be so hot.

If that's what you enjoy, I'm sure you'll keep finding plenty. One of the best things about a forum such as this one is it can provide a lot of insight into why real-life relationships are not all they could be.

CandyApples wrote: I do not eat meat, I tried vegan

Just to clear up a misconception, you went plant-based, not vegan. Vegan, by definition, is strictly for the animals. If one "tries" a "vegan" diet, and then goes back to eating animal products, that's not being vegan. It's like, "I tried to never beat my wife, but it didn't feel right, so I stopped trying to never beat my wife."

Know that anything you eat (or use) that came from an animal, is to exploit that animal (with the exception of roadkill). Not exploiting animals as far as one can (and one can choose not to purposely ingest animals and/or their excretions) is what veganism is about.

CandyApples wrote:and got very sick because I was not eating supplemental nutrition as I'm very picky on fruits, beans, etc.

What 'supplemental nutrition' are you speaking of? Our body is an elimination machine. When you stop taking in [a set of] substances that are not in line with that which is the species-specific diet, the body goes to work on removing from itself that which is does not want. At times, this could be an uncomfortable process, and because we've been conditioned to see that as a "sickness", we think that we are sick.

What do you know about the lymphatic system and the purpose thereof? How about visiting Dr. Robert Morse's YouTube channel. He's helped many people come to the realization of how our bodies work, and by having that realization, then proceed to get themselves well when the allopathic community claims that such-and-such can't be "cured".

hsperson.com wrote:Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?

CandyApples wrote:I dont think I contribute at all to the over all madness . . . I dont torture animals . . .

Okay, so you don't eat meat (does that include fish? Plenty of people don't think that fish is an animal), and you don't drink milk. Since you said that you don't follow a 'vegan' diet, does that mean that you eat other dairy products and eggs? Please see Joey Carbstrong's FebruScary series, starting here.

Then let me know that you don't torture animals.

CandyApples wrote:Where I live . . .

My friend lives in the inner city area of a major city. He has many times talked about how he is tired of the people in his area. He's in that place for now due to how his life evolved up to this point. Perhaps, one day he can get his sh** together and get himself out of there.

How about you? What is keeping you from moving to a more congenial area? What can you do now to advance the plan of moving to such an area?