Hello, I am 19 years old and a freshman in college. Most of this post will initially be about my girlfriend. From here on out I'll start at the beginning of my school year (2014).
I met this girl (one year younger than me) during the first week before classes through a mutual friend. We hit it off pretty well and soon started hanging out. I eventually asked her out (to be my girlfriend) on a weekend in October to which she said yes.
Two weeks later she left on a Friday to visit a male friend (6 years older than her) that lives at a college a couple hours away. She said she would most likely be back later that day. Well when it was later she ended up texting me that the guy didn't want to have to drive her back to her college that night and so she ended up staying the night at his apartment. She came back the next day (Saturday) and seemed upset, and I asked specifically if that guy had tried to do anything sexual and she said no. I believed her.
From that point on we were very happy. She loved me and cared about me, I know it is true. We would hang out a lot and just cuddle on the couch while talking about random things or watching movies.
She started having problems with this guy bothering her and essentially stalking her. He would send her messages all the time and she would ignore it. During winter break though at one point she had to see him, because she needed a ride in a circumstance where no one else could help. Nothing happened at that time, that is true. She eventually cut off all connection with him at the beginning of 2015 by blocking his number, facebook, deleting contact, etc. I thought that would be the last I heard of him.
On Valentine's day I received a message through facebook early in the morning from that guy. I didn't check it until after lunch because I had friends visiting and I knew it couldn't be good. After lunch I sat down with my girlfriend and told her that he had contacted me, I still hadn't read the message. She read the messages then started crying and told me that back in October when she visited that guy and told me that nothing happened, something did happen. She had sex with him then. We talked about it and she told me she never regretted anything more in her life. I believe her and know that she regrets it as she had previously been upset about it, although I didn't know at the time what it was. I then got a call from my home.
My parents called me, because they had seen the messages from that guy on facebook because they know my password. In the messages it said how he had sex with her on that night and how he said he also had pictures of her (underage) that she had sent him before she knew me. My dad drove to my college that day and took me home for the night. I left my girlfriend saying that I need to think about things. My parents and I talked about everything that happened. I decided that I would wait to see what I want to do about my girlfriend, that we would just not be together for a while.
I went back to college the next day and had a rough couple weeks. I texted her every so often to check if she was doing okay at least. After about two weeks we sat down and talked about everything. She told me all about what had happened between her and that guy and how she was sorry. She never asked for me back, she said I was better without her. At the end of it, I did ask her out again. I had thought about it a lot the past couple weeks and I know I love her. She cares about me, and if she could undo it she would without hesitation.
For a few weeks I was happy. I enjoyed being with her again, it was different from before but she would always make sure that I was okay. I kept this a secret from my parents. Last week was the start of spring break and I went home for it. During it I texted her some and my parents noticed it. I told them we were just friends.
They one night checked my texts that I had sent through the cell carrier website and saw texts about how I loved her and she loved me. They also saw texts in which we talked about at some point having sex (we have never had it, although I spent the night with her once which they now know about). One day they approached me and told me that they had seen my texts and knew I was dating her. They told me it was unhealthy and that they will be blocking her on my phone and through facebook and social media. I was able to send one last text to her in which I told her that my parents had seen our texts and I had to have space from her. They scheduled an appointment with a therapist for next week for me to talk about all this with.
My parents say I shouldn't see her ever. They are worried that this relationship is unhealthy for me, even though I am happy. I love her and honestly I do see us together in the future. I came back to school today as this was the end of spring break and now I don't know what to do. I have no way to contact her except finding her in person, although she probably won't want to see me because I can almost guarantee she has been distraught after I sent the last text. I welcome any advice.