by Roadie » Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:02 pm
I meant that despite me knowing that people don't dislike me when I interact with them IRL and that I am lonely and want to be with someone I find it so difficult to connect and form connections with people, which is part of the problem for putting myself out there.
the online profile deleting axienty is an example, it wasn't meant to illustrate that I don't go out and interact with people...
I am going out and talking to people, I know I should enter an interaction/relationship without expectations, I try to have a fun conversation with people. but I just can't no matter what I do form a real connection with anyone
it's probably fear of being rejected, it's probably lack of self-esteem but none of this understanding help me in any way.
I've been "interacting" with people for years again and again people come and go in my life but I can't find a real connection, some do enjoy my company, some trust any rely on me, other's fear/dislike me, and many others indifferent, but they all share this one thing, I can not bring any of them close they all just passing by