I have suffered with depression and self harmed since I was 14. I am now 20 and have been getting some help (anti-deps and councelling). I have recently tried to stop harming myself and so far have not hurt myself for nearly two months.
However my boyfriend says I have become really violent since I stopped. I know he's right. I've always been hypersensitive, but used to bottle all the anger and upset up and take it out on myself. Now I just snap and shout and lash out. I have really hurt him a couple of times and feel really bad - but I just can't stop. My BF says he will put up with it because he'd rather I be this way than SH. But I feel that if it continues I'm going to push him (and everyone else) away. Is this normal with people trying to stop SHing?
I would appreciate any help or advice.
Trying to quit self harming has made me violent
2 posts
• Page 1 of 1
by Annabell » Wed Mar 30, 2005 8:57 am
Hello J.Wren
Glad you've found the Forum...Sounds like you're having a tought time coping with your emotions and reactions. Glad your boyfriend is understanding - although it does not mean that just bacause he can take your violence, you can continue it!
I can understand that having stopped hurting yourself, your anxiety seeks new routes for expressing itself. In the long run, spaking with someone and dealing with your problems is the ultimate answer of course but it's not going to work just by snapping your fingers as I am sure you already know!
Have you thought that it is probably your mind that has learnt to behave in a certain way when you feel that cannot deal with your feelings in any other way, and what you need to do now is to make your mind learn an alternative, less harming way for you to handle the situation and deal with your emotions?
Can you think of something you could do when you start feeling angry/anxious/violent, instead of hurting someone (you or your boyfriend)?
It will take some time for you to 'teach your mind' but it will start to work little by little. I have some experience in this (as I used to get very anxious and jealous and insecure - and the rest of it
) and it really has worked for me. 
I am not an expert in hypnosis or NLP but I am sure someone here could give you more advice about those!
Do let us know how you are doing!
Glad you've found the Forum...Sounds like you're having a tought time coping with your emotions and reactions. Glad your boyfriend is understanding - although it does not mean that just bacause he can take your violence, you can continue it!
I can understand that having stopped hurting yourself, your anxiety seeks new routes for expressing itself. In the long run, spaking with someone and dealing with your problems is the ultimate answer of course but it's not going to work just by snapping your fingers as I am sure you already know!
Have you thought that it is probably your mind that has learnt to behave in a certain way when you feel that cannot deal with your feelings in any other way, and what you need to do now is to make your mind learn an alternative, less harming way for you to handle the situation and deal with your emotions?
Can you think of something you could do when you start feeling angry/anxious/violent, instead of hurting someone (you or your boyfriend)?
It will take some time for you to 'teach your mind' but it will start to work little by little. I have some experience in this (as I used to get very anxious and jealous and insecure - and the rest of it
) and it really has worked for me.
I am not an expert in hypnosis or NLP but I am sure someone here could give you more advice about those!
Do let us know how you are doing!
- Annabell
- Senior Member
- Posts: 1836
- Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2004 8:57 am
- Location: London, UK
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