'Daddy Issues' linked to bad choice in men?

First let me welcome you to the boards and hope you find some input that helps you. Lets examine the issues you have here -

Lets start by dispelling the notion there are "uncomplicated" partners out there. Perhaps you mean individuals with less baggage, but all relationships have a shelf life if you bring preconceived ideas to the table. Every person is an individual that requires a thoughtful approach to unpacking when it involves a relationship. What you perceive as trends in the partners you pick appear to be the issues you are not fixing within yourself.

Looking for people with "issues" is a way to make yourself feel better by not addressing your own. You feel empowered because, in your mind, you're "helping" others see the error in their ways. This inner perception makes you feel like if you can solve their issues, then it allows you to make peace with your own without having to actually face them. As you can see, that doesn't work. Your demons have crafted parameters that set up targets for relationships with builtin preconceptions of where you will be disappointed that eventually terminates the bond. In effect, you are reliving your life experience because that's all you know. You gravitate towards personalities that you understand from that disappointment and abandonment.

You can dress up the circumstances and say they are different people and you arrived for more noble reasons, but the truth is you date and relate with the people you think you deserve. If the males in your life have always abused, abandoned, and lied to you, then this is the ride you are most comfortable with because it fits your expectations.

So actually the people whom you might deem as having their sh*t together, who are "uncomplicated" are really the challenging ones for you. Because who is there to blame if they come at you with a grounded perspective that asks you to be accountable for yourself? That means you have to address your demons. Being emotionally dysfunctional is very much a comfortable pad many of us can sink into. In short, misery likes company. But it doesn't want company that comes with mirrors. Misery is a bottom feeder. It profits from the emotional leftovers of others to essentially say, " I'm okay."

What you deem as a kind of inner confidence is actually complacency. And what you're beginning to see is the fallout from that as relationships become like reruns of the same story line. This is symptomatic of unaddressed pain that you have set aside or assigned to others to role play for you. You need to get off this ride and finally own the events of your early life. Talking to a counselor to vocalize that pain might be a good first step. I think if you can hear your pain, it becomes the first step towards finding a method to remove it.

I would also add that it seems that your desire for helping others, or emotion of compassion is a little on the dominate side. You probably temperamentally tilt towards helping others before yourself, however due to you past issues it could of affected your self esteem which may cause further imbalances.

The better you're as an individual, the better placed you will be to help others.

Would you say you mostly always place the needs of others before your own?