This has been going on for a while now...
There is this girl who hangs out with my friends, and i am crazy for her. Last year it seemed like she was giving some signs that she could be intrested. Suddenly when i try to show her my intrest she starts avoiding me, giving me the cold replies on facebook, not looking in my face, being rude, etc.
Fast forward to today (depending on how the topic progresses i'll say more stuff that happened from then to now) i basically can't stand seeing her anymore. Every time i stumble at her in the corridor i get this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that lasts for a long time. Its like anxiety all over again.
As much as i love her i decided a long time ago it wouldn't be a good idea to keep pursuing her. However the more i try to fight it the worse it gets. For many months i tried distracting myself with other activites but in the end its all being useless.
Every time i see her talking to some other guys also gives me the uncomfortable feeling, only its worse. She always looks like she is intrested in other guys, just like she seemed she was intrested in me. I can't stand the feeling that these other guys have a much better chance at having a relationship with her. Not only that, its getting hotter where i live and she is once again using her shorts/more revealing clothing... I think she is really damn hot, and i am never going to have her.
All of that mixed up makes up for a HUGE feeling of frustration. I can't see a way out of it. All of my efforts to fight this, since the beginning, have been worthless. All of my efforts to try to have a relationship with her were also pretty useless. Only to have other guys dating her without dropping a single tear or drop of sweat.
Being a 17 year old who has never kissed/dated anyone before also doesn't help with confidence. Its not like i've never tried though, but everytime i failed. In the past, even more so.
What is worse: On the past few weeks i've been feeling strong feeling of anger. Anger towards my friends, anger towards the guys she talks to, and more intensely, anger towards her.
Thoughts?