Hey you all. Im just thankful for this forum. Tonight is my first night not smoking weed in a long time and I'm so lonely and angry and empty. I feel so many emotions it's driving me insane. I came here to document my journey in hopes of sticking to my word this time and ACTUALLY turning away from it.
I'm 27 and I work in public transportation. You would think the need to keep my job would push me to quit. Nope. It just gives me more money so I can get better weed.
I'm tired of being disappointed in myself and giving up on myself. But i really just lack support.
Giving up a drug that literally makes you feel beautiful, popular, IMPORTANT is hurting me so much right now. I hope it's not too bad to say that weed has been my only friend for years.
So please believe me when I say I really am thankful for you guys and I hope we all make it out of our darkness.
DAY 1
Well my emotions are awake too. I miss EVERYONE . I'm sad my relationship with my mom is bad now, I miss the guy who won't text me back. I'm missing the good old days when I was a kid and felt real happiness with friends and tons of people around me who believed in me.
It's day 1 and I feel empty. Like I've just been absent and everyone graduated without me.
My mind is moving so much I want it to stop.
In honesty I've gone out to my car to see if I've dropped any weed on the floor. With a flashlight and some tweezers. As a grown woman, I did that.
It's nice to know I'm not going thru this alone. I'm just sad that it's gotten this bad. And I mean bad like I have a growling stomach right now but the bread I'm trying to eat makes me wanna gag.
It's like my stomach is mad that I'm giving it food and not smoke.
Does anyone have any tips? Words of encouragement? Stories? Prayers? I'll listen to anyone right now...anyone who knows...knows that the first week is hell on earth. But this first night....I just wanna turn it off.