Anger is ruining me as a person

Dear Venos,

Have you ever read Jane Austen? In perhaps her most popular book, “Pride and Prejudice” she has a minor character tell us of the distinction between Pride and Vanity. It seems that Pride is having a great concern for one’s own opinion of one’s self, and Vanity is having a great concern for what Others think of us. It would seem that you are suffering from an access of Vanity.

When you say that making others happy makes you happy, what I really believe you mean is that when other People are Glowing with Smiling Approval of you, then you are happy.

Your Center is not Inside of Yourself. Your Center is drifting out there in the Crowd where anybody is free to kick it around.

Yes, of course, as Social Beings we must give some concern as to how to maintain adequate social connections. No man is an island, and being liked and respected is a kind of Social Capital which often comes in very handy. When you are Well Liked and Respected, People help find you jobs. People invite you to Parties and Weddings and neat stuff like that. When you die you can count on some people actually showing up for your Funeral.

But you can Overdo It. You can Try too Hard. Unless you find a Cool Medium in regards to cultivating the Good Opinion of others, you may come across as Needy, Co-Dependent or Insecure.

Also look at your language – “betrayed”. I can see being “disrespected”, but even that is a bit High and Mighty. Normal People complain of being treated ‘rudely’. Only Royalty complais of being Disrespected. And “betrayed’ is WAY over the top. One ‘betrays’ a Sacred Obligation or a Patriotic Duty. How can anybody “betray” little old you? So I have a feeling you LOVE the Drama of all This.

Are you here for Help, or are you here to pour your Heart out to us, about how ill you have been treated by that Social Set of yours that are all simply too ignorant and self-involved to recognize your True Worth and Innate Superiority.

Then I find that you seem to find Anger useful – protecting you from “threats and horrible fates”… again that overly dramatic narcissistic language.

So, maybe you just want to come here and Voice your Concerns and have us all Validate you. Okay, but that won’t REALLY Help You, well it?

If anger is ruining you as a person, maybe you'd do better as a chihuahua.

Praying for you.

Candid wrote:If anger is ruining you as a person, maybe you'd do better as a chihuahua.

I thought that WAS a Chihuahua.

I may doing just that Lol