I'm Confused Even More!!! - Update!

"So I got on with my life. Decided to just move forward"... hmm, that's the spirit, but in fact you texted him for months, after saying that you wouldnt be contacting him again, even when he hadnt been replying to you at all. So that's not really drawing a line is it.

Basically the story is: you had an image (invention) of what you wanted him to be and how it should go. After multiple times when he doesnt meet your expectations or your advances arent reciprocated enough, the normal 30yo reaction is to emotionally back-peddle somewhat or completely call it a day.... 'this isn't what I'm looking for, no point investing any more time/emotion here - you better make some significantly good moves now else nothing more from me, adios'. And stick to it. Instead, YOUR reaction is to moan, to berate him (if only to yourself), to pursue him further and further, and invest EVEN MORE EMOTIONALLY into the situation. You manufacture a melodrama. And the more he backs off from you (from your melodrama), the more you feed that into your melodrama!. The very slightest tidbit of positivity or even politeness in his response to your continual pursuit gets read as some deeply significant act.... giving you the green light to pursue him some more! And note, you pursue someone who *you believe* resents your love for him and holds a grudge against you. Doesn't that last sentence alone make you think "wtf was I doing??". It really should. And you probably do need to get into that more deeply with a professional therapist, as to my mind a 30yo doing this very likely has complicated issues behind it. A 16yo or 18yo behaving as you wrote, and eg telling him one moment that they love him and then the next moment telling him they dont love him (even though that IS what you want to happen), at that age I'd put it down to level of maturity and just learning how to deal with BS in their life. At 30yo, your story reads as something amiss going on.