As I have now reached a point where I don't know what else to do in order to help somebody I love, I do what everyone in the 21st century does.
Seek help from the internet.
Leaving out some details, let's just say our mom took care of us our whole life as a single parent, while our father really didn't give a damn. As an agressive alcoholic who would constantly beat our mother, there wasn't a lot to do for her but leave him and raise us on her own, doing the best she could. He never cared, never sent a letter, let alone money and we despised him our whole childhood long for not fulfilling his "duties" as a father. I grew up telling all my friends that my father died a long time ago just so I wouldn't have to talk about him.
As time passed, we got the call that he's got a severe disease and probably only one year to live. While the shock was bearable for me (as I considered him dead since I was a child), my brother totally flipped.
He is unrecognizable since the diagnosis, full of temper, telling my mom she did a bad job raising him, insulting her, being extremly aggressive just like a totally different person. You can hardly talk to him without having him tear up or being completely irrational. What I do understand is him explaining, that having on of your parents die is just as telling you, that you are next. I somehow get that it might be a "quarter life crisis" for him but I just don't understand how you can grieve for such an evil person.
What angers me most is the fact that he tries to make him a better person than he was, claiming he loved us but couldn't show it, that we should have kept in touch with him, the list goes on and on. It is mostly things that simply couldn't have been prevented because of my father's persona.
The situation stresses me a lot. Not only is he hurting my mother and me he is also wasting his precious youth doing nothing but grieve for a man who isn't even dead yet, trying to undo things that lay in the past for decades almost.
Talking to our father is not an option.
Is there anyony who has had a similiar situation or could give me some advice in this awful time. It would be very much appreciated and I thank you for reading all of this!