Getting upset way to easily.

Connor wrote:I get upset very easily. When someone has wronged me, I'll be upset about it for a good couple of hours and even have trouble sleeping because of it. Most of the time, its not even something worth getting upset about. So I know I have a problem. What I need help with is how to keep myself from getting so upset.

Hi Connor,

Yes, yes, getting upset and then being bothered by Hours of continuously intrusive ‘Internal Dialogue’ , that can last even so long as to bother our Sleep, well, that is VERY Common, and Most People experience it to some degree… and sometimes quite often.

The ‘Trick’ to minimizing Internal Dialogue is in Letting Unimportant Problems just ‘Go’ – TOO Unimportant to Worry About – and this usually does the Trick. If you Take No Action, there is Really Nothing to Think About, is there? Well, yes, you could think that You Should Have Done This or Said That, but if you can Reply to Yourself, that “It is Best Just to Let the Little Stuff Go, and Worry Only about the Big Things”, then you will have a lot more Peace of Mind.

I noticed it first when Driving… Commuting back and forth to work. If I would see some Bad Driving, or Rude Driving… if I let myself Start to Think about it, then it would be with me for a while. If I actually DID ANYTHING about it, like honk my horn and roll down the window and make angry gestures, well, THEN, the incident would be with me for Hours. So I learned, to simply SEE what is happening, and if there is no threat of imminent harm, then just File It Away and forget about it. It works great… just not letting yourself get Pulled In. To use a metaphor, one should simply Not Take the Bait when possible Worries or Concerns arise that are better left ‘unplayed’.

This is why I have so much of a Problem with the Assertiveness People – the ‘Experts’ who feel that for People to be Adequate and Socially Well-Adjusted or Spiritually Realized, or Whatever It Is they are Looking For that They must Necessarily Make Some Kind of a Big Deal about Everything – that Each Person’s Opinion is Important and it is some kind of a Desecration not to Spout it Off.. to Stand Up for Oneself and Be Counted… blah, blah blah. What all that Assertiveness Actually Does is Lifts the Curtain for all Sorts of Drama and Internal Dialogue. One Wonders how these Constantly Assertive People do not Drive Themselves Crazy, telling the World everything they Think and Standing Up for Everything they Stand Up For… When isn’t it true that One Thing Always just seems to Lead to Another. The Best Way to Stop it is Don’t Get Started.

Also, one of my Favorite pieces of Advice to New Posters is to Warn of the Snowballing Effect of Cussing and Swearing. Problems that start out Small, get A Lot Bigger as soon as you start Cussing about Them. To Keep Calm, well, just Keep Calm, and the Easiest Way to Keep Calm is to Simply Watch your Language.

Also, many people don’t realize that their Internal Dialogue … their Thinking… helps to get them into a lot of Trouble, Especially if you Think in Terms of Cuss Works. It is difficult to ACT Calm, if all of your Thinking is a Large String of Vulgar Profanities. So don’t Say Swear Words… and don’t even Think Them.

Anyway, THAT should keep you busy for a while. Let me know if any of it helped.

to make it simpler I would ask, why you are getting upset? ask yourself question, are you able to find reason? or maybe you are tired?

Connor wrote:I get upset very easily. When someone has wronged me, I'll be upset about it for a good couple of hours and even have trouble sleeping because of it. Most of the time, its not even something wroth getting upset about. So I know I have a problem. What I need help with is how to keep myself from getting so upset.

Hi Connor,

I can definitely relate to you. I have struggled with a similar problem myself, and it's gotten better over time.

People tell you just to let it go (which is great advice), but it's not that easy to implement sometimes)

From the practical side, I would suggest, when something like this happens again:

1) Journal about it.

What I often find in my own life is that after I have ranted about the situation in my journal in detail on at least 3 pages, I have no desire to repeat the same stuff over and over again in my head) Even if you have never journalled before, just pull out a piece of paper and write whatever comes to your mind about the situation. Do this as soon as you can after it happened.

2) Do something that makes you feel good.

After you've expressed your feelings in your journal, go for an activity that always improves your mood. It could be a walk in the park, reading, or if you are at the office, maybe just grabbing a cup of coffee with a colleague. You need to break that negative cycle in your head, and what better way than with something that always makes you feel better?

Hope this helps.

Let me know if you ever need to talk.

Olga