How Does one truly keep calm in an angry world?

Hi there,
My fiancee also suffers from depression and has similar anger when she feels she has been wronged. It is very hard to deal with for sure, particularly when people don't see the niggle winding you up and they just see your reaction.

With the small stuff it is probably incidental so for me just consider it is not as important as something that is truly important in my life like my fiancee, my running etc. With the perisistent stuff that is done deliberately as hard as it may seem the best thing is not to show a reaction to them. How? Tricky but knowing you have an outlet for the anger somewhere else can help. We usually run or beat up pillows, shout etc. We have also recently tried some meditation that generally chills us out and gives us a bit more tolerance inside when these things come along.

Hope this waffle helps. If not you could just consider how sad their lives must be that they have to find their entertainment in winding you up rather than actually having some decent purpose in their lives, thats usually the case and thats their punishment at the same time. Actually their situation is probably a lot worse under the lid.

More waffle. Anyway hope it helps.

The only thing that helps me is meds like anti psychotics. and rememer in a world of peace and angry men will make war with himself.

Thank you for the input fattyowl and twisted illusions.

With the small stuff it is probably incidental so for me just consider it is not as important as something that is truly important in my life like my fiancee, my running etc. With the perisistent stuff that is done deliberately as hard as it may seem the best thing is not to show a reaction to them. How? Tricky but knowing you have an outlet for the anger somewhere else can help. We usually run or beat up pillows, shout etc. We have also recently tried some meditation that generally chills us out and gives us a bit more tolerance inside when these things come along.

I can see how outlets could be beneficial. Perhaps keeping more focused and practiced on such things could help curb my rage when it occurs. I guess I just find it hard to rise above my anger when I need to and getting involved in more worthwile activities than letting my reaction to things stew inside for awhile. It definitely takes some practice to switch modes for me. .

This is the question I'm trying answer also.
I want to have a sense of humor about it.

What are the skills needed to deal with insensitive people?

Deep down I know it's an expression of their own self hatred.
If I look carefully at the nasty things someone says or does it usually applies to THeM personally more than anything to do with me and I should just feel bad for them.
I wish I could get this tattooed on my arm so I could remember it when they attack!

Hello everyone,

No one really has the answers to these questions... But I feel the same way you all do -- when people make me angry, it's very hard to control.. I want to lash out and tell them what it feels like to be angry. And I have a few times.. it only makes them laugh even more and the situation to get worse.

The best thing we can do?

--Brush it off.. honestly...unless someone is making fun of your deceased family member, let it go.
--You know those people that take the butt of every joke and seem to never care? They always laugh? Try that. Try bein the jolly person that can take any joke easily and not get angry. I know it's extremely hard because you want to be the tough guy/girl.. or whatever (sorry this is in my experience).. but remember, there are plenty of occassions to prove yourself to others. Take the butt of the nominal jokes.. and prove yourself when the time is right. Everyone will forget about you sounding like a monkey when you talked (lol idk what that came from) soon after.
--Something I don't suggest, especially in this world.. everyone has become so self-centered and they don't care how other people feel... but something you can do is pull them aside and tell them you really don't like what they are doing. I honestly feel that doing this will almost never solve the problem.. because then people (these days) complain that you're starting drama.. and it sucks because you really feel terrible about the things they do/say, and all they see is your reaction physically. They can't see through you, and they weren't meant to, so trying to get them to understand what's going on inside isn't natural, and wont always be taken to heart.


But remember, if they get their kicks in kicking you.. then they obviously are prepared to receive some in return. So go for it I say, if they can't take it then they shouldn't be dishing it out. Cooks never cook food they don't like - it grosses em out

Anyways, these are all my personal experiences, and may completely differ from yours... good luck friend.

I know how you feel, and on a whole new level on anger management...

I am a manager and only 6 weeks in i know more than the owners. I now have to deal with situations Id gladly smack customers over.

But no, I do what everyone is taught to do. Say sorry, smle, act like you care to make them happy.



I live in Las Vegas. If you want to see angry, hostile, crazy people. Come here!




Everyone has there own techniques. The reason alcohol and drugs are so abused is because it temprarily lets you forget what bothers you.

Personally I find it very relaxing to make some hot tea, take a bath, go for a walk, play with my dog, work on my car, start a project.

I found the best way to calm myself is to do this: Take everything you would do for the rest of your life if you never had to worry about money. Remove the things that MAY stress you out (like working on a car) and do those things.

Force yourself to calm down, relax ad enjoy what you are doing. Find a healthy way to release stress and axiety and enjoy doing it!

hello i have just found this site and are wondering if any one outhere can help me with ,my question is does prozac give you heaps of anger while you are comin downplease?? ..dorje

oh yes sorry hope you can handle a newbie with two left typing fingers?

Hello dorje..

The best advice is that we cannot offer you the answer. You must obtain that information from a certified doctor/physician. I'm sure they can offer you that information at no cost.. as it is only information about the medication they prescribe you.

Good luck friend!

As eckoinlasvegas said... YOU CAN force yourself to calm down. Most people have to do that. Count to 10. Think of something that made you laugh really hard when you were young as you are counting. You are human. You have a very powerful system encased in that skull. USE it. You have the power to overcome chemical imbalances, with enough effort and persuasion. It may seem as though you are just covering them up, but in fact it does help...

You may not want to do this constantly, just enough to get past the roughest stuff and get back onto the road to mental freedom.

Do what suits you best!

Most people are looking for attention, good/or bad they don`t care. Winding you up gets attention, they think it`s fun, they laugh + usually do it in front of others, I used to try and laugh it off but it`s bullying full stop. A fter doing loads of work on my self I have learned the best thing to do is stop communicating with them, turn your back on them, give them nothing. They then look pretty silly in front of others. If you keep this up when they are nasty you will find they start treating you with more respect. Believe it or not they value your attention, they will adjust + you will have to do nothing. It worked for me. If they never speak to you again you will have at least have some peace from them, believe me they won`t like being ignored. Best of luck.

I find dealing with people like this really hard so I tend to avoid all people now, which isn't good, but I got sick and tired of being wound up.

I find that taking medication makes you care much less about what people say and think.

echalon, I'm at exactly the same point. I'd just rather not deal with people at all. I recognize that it's my low tolerance that makes it difficult. I've never wanted to take drugs for depression etc... but to not care so much what other people think would be heaven!

okay, after working in call centre when i was younger and dealing with complaints from customers cause i was a team leader. 95% of the time i didn't care.

the majority of people that are anger that have a go at people is because they don't like themselves or anyone and try to make everyone feel like sh** just cause they do. so i normally feel sorry for these people as soon as i have to deal with these people.

when people are emotional, they aren't in control and therefore you can outsmart them with your words.

but the main point is why would you care? life is 2 short to worry about the little things. 90% of argurments are over nothing. think about what you and your partner fight about, it's just little things. save the angerments for big issues. like if we have to go 2 war.

another reason why we get angry is because it hits one of our beliefs. let's say you think abortion is wrong and someone comes along and says they are right.... respect everyone opinion cause everyone has different views in life. some might say this forum colour is red, others will say it's orange.

sometimes it's just best to walk away and not bother getting yourself upset over something so small. it's going to make you feel like sh**, going to put stress on you and stress is the main killer in life that decreases your life spam. if it's a stranger, u never going to meet them again so why care?

education and finding a spiritual side to life is the key if u ask me. a good book that i read that made me look at life differently which i try to not take so seriously was 'the art of happyness' by the darli larma.

when we get 2 absorb in life we get angry and depress. we give off negative energy and only pick up on the negative things about life. when we are up we only look at the positive things in life!

anyhow, i hope i do help someone in someway with my advise!