I'm a 30 year old female veterinarian and have been practicing for around 3 years. Recently I've been feeling worse and worse about myself in pretty much every way possible - looks, personality, intelligence, etc...
To start, I look pretty young for my age (people think I'm around 20), and I get a lot of comments from my clients saying how young I look or even that I "look too young to be a doctor". As soon as I get those types of comments, I instantly feel like I have to start "proving" myself and trying harder, which just ends up in me being awkward and making myself even less credible. My staff (technicians) also tend to bring up any mistakes I may make (I've caught them looking at my records and then telling me that I didn't write something that I said I did, like they're trying to find something I did wrong). I'm fairly socially awkward and so a lot of the things I say get made fun of or are taken the wrong way, which makes me MORE socially awkward
In addition to this, I'm becoming more self-conscious about my looks as I get older. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome - this makes me lose hair on my scalp, grow excessive hair on my face, and causes acne. I have to spend an exorbitant amount of time each day on facial hair removal. I also really can't do much with my hair because I have thinning spots around my hairline and on top of it I have a large forehead so I really don't ever wear my hair back. I just in general really am not happy with the way I look, and feel helpless to do anything about it. My partner and I have been together for over 3 years and I still don't believe her when she tells me I'm beautiful - I just don't see it. And I always feel insecure if she has friends who are girls because I just feel like one day she'll leave me for someone who is more attractive, especially if my hair continues to fall out.
Lastly, all throughout my life people have not really liked me. I've always had a hard time making friends because I'm fairly reserved and don't open up easily - it's just part of who I am - and people think I'm a snob because of this. So in addition to all my other issues, I have basically no friends (my partner and I have another couple we are friends with, but I have ZERO of my own friends). I would love to be able to get coffee or take a yoga class with a friend, but I have no one. I can't make friends at work because it's a very small company and I'm not really comfortable with being friends with my coworkers outside of work anyway. I feel pretty lonely because of this.
Pretty much the only thing about myself that I feel good about is my intelligence. I graduated veterinary school with almost a 4.0, and I know deep down that I'm a good doctor. But lately with people making fun of me, telling me I look too young, etc, it has really taken a hit on my ego because it's like the ONE thing I feel good about is being belittled. I want to practice self-love, but don't know how when I literally have nothing to feel good about...I used to think I was generally a happy person, but I definitely feel myself falling into depression at this point and don't know how to stop it.