Sports Anxiety

Background: Years ago I was in a mma gym and just started training. I was only there for about 3 weeks and the coach was, in lack of a better term, greedy and sort of like a con man. He was taking money secretly for amature fights. I went to one to support everyone that trained to fight one day.
someone no showed the event and the coach not wanting to lose any money approached me and told me to fill in; he convinced me i was more than ready (yeah I know) and the guy was only going to box with me. I went into the cage, from the audience; to fight a guy that was not an amature boxer, but a full on pro mma fighter with a wrestling background. I was humiliated. I hung in there, fought the best i could, but it felt like I was being executed. in front of my family. friends and strangers. Blood was everywhere from my broken nose; the guy i fought even pulled me aside after and told me to hang in there and that the trainer i had then set me up for failure - then apologized because he was not in on it.


NOW:
I moved on to brazilian jiu jitsu. I love it. I love the technicality and the fact the sport is constantly evolving. In training, with no pressure, I am confident, smart and technical.
However. I have tried to compete and Anxiety sets in WEEKS before I ever set foot on the event floor. It is like death is coming. I stop eating. I dwell on 'what if's'. I lose sleep. This past week i was supposed to compete, i ended up so anxious I ended up in the hospital. I ended up sick with a doctors note. Mentally it was too much. I worried myself and it felt like I was going to die or something. It was very intense. I was put on meds over it all - But I know there has to be a way to get over this to compete like everyone else. The feelings from the vulnerability i felt with the fight from the crooked coach comes up and I need to find a way to over come it.