Fat to Skinny -- But, Still Riddled with Anxiety

Hello Everyone

In days of old, my life revolved around the television, my bedroom, and a plate. However, food was my god. I ate over anything imaginable. Looking back, I loved sweets -- anything with lots of sugar, fat, and floury goodness. I thought that the source of my problems were my inability to stop eating. I thought that once I stopped eating, and lost weight that naturally, I would shut off the television and leave my bedroom. Two hundred and seventeen pounds later, and I am still inside my room.

So I gave up the TV -- I donated my televisions to the Salvation Army five years ago. But, I still stayed in the house. I had Netflix on my computers, so last year I canceled my subscription. But, I am still inside my home. So, I tried online pen pals, support groups, and last week, I joined this forum. I am still inside my home.

I looked at some videos about agoraphobia, social anxiety, and social avoidance. Of the three, I would "self diagnose" with social avoidance. The longer I stay isolated the worst it gets. Moreover, it is getting harder to maintain my inner life inside my home. My appliances require repair. I can afford to have them replaced or repaired, but don't want to engage with anyone to make it happen.

They say that people like me have dysregulated brains -- that my brain was damaged as a result of long term abuse. They are calling it C-PTSD. I am starting to believe that is the truth.

Richard to answer your post -- I spend most of my days being afraid. Sad, but true.

Rosa