renman67 wrote:
Hello. I'm a 49 year old married guy living in New England. I have a career in education which I've worked in for the past 22 years. My wife and I have no children and two cats. I'm currently on a small dose (10 mg) of prozac which I was prescribed several years ago to combat anxiety issues. I have also been on injectible testosterone for the past 6 years to combat low testosterone. The dosage has been "tweaked" several times and I'm currently taking .4 mg a week.
I'm on this forum because I'm seeking help/support with anger management issues. My anger management presents as a need to argue with people on internet forums and social media, and occasional impulsive use of email to respond to people at my workplace. The former behavior has resulted in loss of friendships with tangential relationships and temporary loss of contact with close friends and family members. The latter behavior has resulted in problems for me in the workplace. In short, they have jeopardized my position at work.
After hearing my wife tell me that I need to work on these issues, I've finally decided for myself that I need to. I understand that a constant need to be right and to prove my worth and my knowledge is unhealthy as it exhibits in my behavior. And my penchant for "pressing send" at work rather than to compose something that I then sit back and reread, have trusted colleagues reread, etc, BEFORE pressing send is not healthy either.
I'm not quite sure why I do this. I have had problems in the past with alcohol and sexual obsessions, and these also negatively impacted my life. These are now under control, but I feel that my new behaviors are just proof of my "latest addiction."
Any comments, suggestions, etc. would be greatly appreciated.
Dear Renman,
I am so sorry that I did not answer your Post sooner… I had seen it this morning and had intended to answer it after answering another New Member, and I guess I forgot I had Two Jobs in queue instead of just One. Ooops!
First Thing -- Oh! Those Anti-depressants! None of them are effective at what they are SUPPOSED to do, but you can certainly count on the horrible side effects they are famous for… and if you Try to quit, well, you’ll be in for a real ride there too. Just THINK, maybe the Prozac (or Paxil, or a half a dozen others) is Decreasing Your Anxiety in Regards to Maintaining Proper Social Inhibitions. I suppose you are lucky that you are not parading around Naked because you no longer have any anxiety about being nude in public, but what you ARE doing is potentially far more damaging – upsetting other people At Work, and making these people Have Bad Days. You know, sometimes the difference between a Good Day and a completely Rotten Day is getting just one Piece of Spiteful and Nasty Email…. And that is what you are Doing to your Friends (ex-friends) and colleagues. So you Know the People in charge of Hiring and Firing are looking for the First Excuse to send you packing. But, as you said, you Know All This. Now, of course, I can’t be sure it’s the Proxac, BUT… in the 20 years that Stuff has been around, I am STILL waiting to hear the First Good Thing about any of It. If I had Stock in Pfizer… well there would be my Good Thing right there…
Moving on… Well, there is One Bit of Good News in your Story – that you acknowledge that you have a Problem. You see, MANY Angry People are Narcissistic , Sociopathic and Predatory , which Translates into Them NOT Thinking that they have any problem at all. When you tell an Angry Predator that he has an Anger Problem, he is likely to reply that His Anger is not HIS Problem, but the Problem for the People whom He is Angry At – they are the Ones with the Problem, and if they don’t know it by Sooner, they will certainly know it by Later… But YOU are clearly not one of THEM.
Anyway, where does that leave us now. Yes, of course, I think you can be helped… even if it is the Proxac… I wouldn’t dream of asking a Long Time Prozac Addict to try to Stop Using – the Withdraw Symptoms are horrible, even terrifying… and for YEARS afterwards one notices Funny Things happening in the Brain and the Perceptions… even essential Balance can be impaired at the most inopportune times. So we might assume that you are hooked on Prozac … a Slave to It… and to Pfizer!... and that you will stay hooked all the way up to the Grave. BUT we have to find a way of dealing with your Impulsiveness. If your Primary Problem is Writing Nasty Emails and Flaming Posts Online, you could perhaps SLOW YOURSELF DOWN, by first Writing your FIRST DRAFT in a Word Document that you can’t SEND anywhere without making a Few Additional Moves… copies and pastes and all of that . Those few additional moves may give you Pause to Think.
Oh!... You are also injecting testosterone? You say you are cutting way back. Why not cut back All The Way. Testosterone is simply Nature’s Drug for making People Aggressive, Possessive and Territorial… and Hairy on the Face but Bold on the Head. The World would be so much more Peaceful without that old Caveman scourge of testosterone. Why did you get on it in the first place? I suppose, correct me if I am wrong, that you Hit your Forty-Something Mid-Life Crisis and started to see all your Youthful Firmness go soft and flabby… Following the Course of Nature… nobody could have blamed you at all for any of it, BUT, you apparently have a Good Health Plan, or you are Independently Wealthy, and you could get the testosterone shots for practically as little as a wink and a smile and thought Why Not!? If I wasn’t a Real Man Before, I’ll certainly be a Real Man after. Fill yourself full of Macho Juice. Well, what did you Notice happening after That? DO YOU THINK it might have made you more Aggressive and Territorial at Work (that includes being Defensive about everything)? Your Wife seems Very Supportive. Talk it over with her. If she is fine with you Getting Older and Showing Your Natural Age, well, totally kick the testosterone. As an aside… I also have a number of Kitty Cats, and whenever I take a new ‘Tom’ into the Vet to get Neutered, I have a Standard Joke – I ask how much to have the Tomcat neutered, and after the Customer Service Person replies, I ask “how much would you charge to do Me next”? …“Testosterone”… it begins with a “T” because it only Spells ‘T R O U B L E’.
Well, I think I have come to the end of my Specific Observations in regards to your Case… oh, and please forgive me for all my discernment errors. But what is Done is Done and So let’s move onto the General ‘One-Advice-Fits-All’ section of my little discourse. Firstly, you obviously have a GREAT Health Care Plan. I think you can Get 10 Treatments for just the cost of your Co-Pay… depending on what Country you are from. But while 10 Sessions might have a Great Impact on your Life at the Time… momentarily… after a while Old Therapy Wears Thin. So I always advise Everyone… who can post in more than just a semi-literate Tweet… to READ all of the Good Anger Management Books they can find. I could tell you my favorites, but I already wrote all that this morning… look at the Post by the New Member just ahead of you.
I hope I haven’t offended you. Please let me know if my advice suggested any further avenues for you. And Good Luck. Please keep us abreast of how things are going for you. (and PM me and tell me about your two cats)