Scared of losing my family

so confused wrote: I blame it on stress from the kids and school and housework,

If you are scared of losing your family, then focus on just family. This means temporarily drop school and seek one on one professional counseling to learn how to better shift your priorities in life.

Dear So Confused,

Richard, our most experienced councilor, recommends that you prioritize getting Anger Management Counseling. Yes, that would probably be best. BUT... I myself and studying to take on a new career, and understand how Impatient Everybody in your Family and Social Circle are for you to get past the Studying Part and actually go out and Get the New Job. along with all the other demands in your life, you must feel That Also. Telling the your WHOLE WORLD that you want to take some protracted Time Off to get psychological counseling... well, that might must Add a new Big problem to all the other Big Problems you already have.

BUT, you should go to the Big Online Book Vendor... that now sells everything... and look over the anger management books... many of which I have reviewed. Get the ones you feel drawn to, and find time to read a chapter a cay. Get some insight into Anger. Right now you are Lost. You have no Mental Framework for dealing with your Anger. It seems that NOBODY thinks anger is a problem. It is not taught in schools. people are simply Expected not to be Angry, but nobody ever explains HOW. The Books Do.

Do you need to go see a Psychologist? Well, for most people, Yes. But you are planning to be a Doctor yourself. Certainly you can Pick It Up just by reading the Literature.

I would send you a reading list... but I accidentally deleted my Posting File... and this Website doesn't seem to allow people to search their own Posts. Again, we are in the wonderful world of computers... Computers that can do Anything,.. except for what people want them to do...

Leo Volont wrote: Richard, our most experienced councilor, recommends that you prioritize getting Anger Management Counseling.

I am not recommending anger management counseling.

I believe the OP's issue of anger is a side effect of failing to learn how to manage, prioritize and recognize what is truly important in life. If a person is "scared of losing" then the solution is not adding additional burdens to his or her life, but to instead scale back and focus on what IS important.

If you look at what the OP posted, she is saying that being a mother of 3 children, each with additional needs is not enough in life for her, that she wants more and she believes should be able to take on more. My question, why is that not enough in life? Why does she feel a need to take on even more responsibility? When did as a society we go so wrong to think that raising three wonderful children is not a good life, that it is not enough?

My main point has nothing to do with seeking anger management. Instead, my main point is to take a step back, stop trying to play this game of always needing more, more, more, never finding satisfaction or happiness in what you have accomplished, not trying to compete with your neighbors or the family next door. This is unhealthy and leads to the stress and anxiety the OP is experiencing, not being able to focus and appreciate what really matters in life.

It might be wise to try find some time for yourself away from everything. Just to give an example, some people go to the gym as a good escape - the exercise improved their feelings about themself and well-being and its something that allows them to escape for a short period to have their own space. Your life appears to be full of a lot of responsibilities and it doesn't sound like your finding much time for yourself for relaxation. Spend time with friends, socialise, go watch a movie you want to see, go and dine with your husband somewhere - these are all stress management techniques. A holiday may even be good.

Dear soconfused, I have had sudden temper tantrums over the past 3 years and am only now in recovery. I think the real point in your story is - like me - you appear to yourself and to others as a very nice person. What this actually means is that your natural anger/aggression is suppressed. If I'm right, the real challenge is to recognise your anger - which is actually there most of the time - and express it constructively. This is much harder than it sounds - if you're interested, I can say more about my journey.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:

Leo Volont wrote: Richard, our most experienced councilor, recommends that you prioritize getting Anger Management Counseling.

I am not recommending anger management counseling.

.

Dear Richard,

Oh, I am so sorry that I misrepresented your advice.

Maybe I was 'reaching'... and to support my own argument, I needed to contrast it against Another Argument... and I picked yours... as Clearly the Best... but, yes, I distorted it to help my own argument a bit. I DIDN'T intentionally prevaricate, but I have to confess that I did not examine your post in detail... reading it three times and outlining it in my mind. What I did was that I read through it, and took what I thought I could use... for the Good of our Client.

So I did bad but I meant well. In the future I will try to do both Good AND Mean Well. Certainly that is Better! There is the Song "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"... but of course 3 out of 3 would be the most desired Objective.

Leo Volont wrote:

Dear Richard,

Oh, I am so sorry that I misrepresented your advice.

Maybe I was 'reaching'... and to support my own argument, I needed to contrast it against Another Argument... and I picked yours... as Clearly the Best... but, yes, I distorted it to help my own argument a bit. I DIDN'T intentionally prevaricate, but I have to confess that I did not examine your post in detail... reading it three times and outlining it in my mind. What I did was that I read through it, and took what I thought I could use... for the Good of our Client.

So I did bad but I meant well. In the future I will try to do both Good AND Mean Well. Certainly that is Better! There is the Song "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"... but of course 3 out of 3 would be the most desired Objective.

I dig your transparancy, which shines the spot light on a public speaker with a natural inclination to comical pursuit.

Introspectah wrote:

Leo Volont wrote:

Dear Richard,

Oh, I am so sorry that I misrepresented your advice.

Maybe I was 'reaching'... and to support my own argument, I needed to contrast it against Another Argument... and I picked yours... as Clearly the Best... but, yes, I distorted it to help my own argument a bit. I DIDN'T intentionally prevaricate, but I have to confess that I did not examine your post in detail... reading it three times and outlining it in my mind. What I did was that I read through it, and took what I thought I could use... for the Good of our Client.

So I did bad but I meant well. In the future I will try to do both Good AND Mean Well. Certainly that is Better! There is the Song "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"... but of course 3 out of 3 would be the most desired Objective.

I dig your transparancy, which shines the spot light on a public speaker with a natural inclination to comical pursuit.

Oh, well, thank you.... or my Family thanks you. I come from a Funny Family. They value a Laugh more than anything, and I HOPE I have grown beyond that.... but it is like my Brain is incapable of ending a progression of thoughts and reasonings without something of a punchline. It is like Music.... songs should end on a Clever Resolve with the Key Note or Most Prominent chord Interval. I think that Humor may be to Logical Narrative, what a Good Resolve is to Music. the Best Way to End a Song. .