My anger is going to get me killed !

You and most people with PTSD! As far as I know there isn't a cure from the outside -- EMDR didn't work for me, although the therapist believed in it passionately -- so I self-manage.

I like Pete Walker's stuff, http://www.pete-walker.com/
also a book by Gordon Turnbull called Trauma (and something about Lockerbie in the subtitle). Turnbull's the top PTSD man in the UK and I'm considering booking myself in next time I'm over that way.

I've found that stimulants such as coffee and cigarettes make my symptoms worse, while fresh air and exercise make me feel more in control. No surprises there -- but people with PTSD (and other head problems) almost invariably do it the other way round.

Rumination is disastrous. All the usual relaxation methods apply, especially any form of meditation you can manage, but if you're ruminating you need to notice it and switch it off. Best for that is self-soothing, being able to talk yourself back to a happier space.

Do you sleep okay, without drugs? Have nightmares? Flashbacks? Conversely, could you be sleeping too much?

Traffic doesn't bother me, maybe because I'm a cyclist which requires mindfulness (or I'd be squished) and mostly playing defence. However, a thumping stereo from two blocks away can set me off.

Hope something there helps.

I lived in a very large city most of my life. Everyone in a hurry, rush, rush, rush... I found myself becoming stressed by the constant need for the guy behind to "hurry me up". When I was driving, standing in line at the store, waiting to get the kids from school. I contemplated these stressful places even before I left my house. I knew I was going to have a blow out before I put myself back into these situations. I began to realize I was on the defense as soon as my foot left my front door. I didn't like feeling this way everyday. I started to think of what I could do to get along with the outside world in a peaceful way. I had to do a bit of a moral inventory of why this bothered me so much. The bottem line was I didn't like feeling unimportant and disrespected. So now what? I knew the world wasn't going to change for me. I can't stop the people and think I'll get through to them one at a time by screaming at them.
I devised a detour. I left my house a little earlier for planned events. This gave me more time to get where I was going and pull off the road safely to count to ten until the hasty driver behind could go around and tick off the next guy. I understand if your on the interstate you may not be able to this until you reach an exit. I didn't think it would work , but after I tried it a few times I found myself in control again. Some people need more than just a count to ten. You can also count down from twenty depending on your stress level. The other detour I devised was planning my outings around the busiest times for people to be out. Shop early when the stores first open. Plan appointments around rush hour traffic. Use alternate routes less traveled.
I became quite good at avoiding a lot of the day to day stress that we all feel. I hope these techniques can help you. You can enjoy your outings again and live more peaceful knowing how to avoid what clearly angers you.
Regards McCain

McCain wrote:The bottem line was I didn't like feeling unimportant and disrespected. So now what? I knew the world wasn't going to change for me. I can't stop the people and think I'll get through to them one at a time by screaming at them.

That's how I feel about people playing loud music in the suburbs: that they've got two fingers up to everyone in earshot. When I'm at a club I enjoy loud music -- because I know I can get away from it if I want to -- but when it invades my home it distresses me. A lot. I'm mostly talking about hearing an aggressive baseline, which white noise won't block and earplugs make worse, and of course not knowing how long it will go on. As a C-PTSD sufferer I have enough trouble with sleep as it is (2.25am here).

Don't want to hijack PTSDvet's thread, but any thoughts?

I probably should have thanked the mother of a street punk that I stood up to for taking a weapon away from him. She saved my life.
The state charged him with assault but the corrupt judge let him off, only to have this kid shot to death at work within two years.
Maybe there is justice somewhere.

In the past I have only had luck getting through to neighbors about issues like this in one way. You have to come out of the woodwork. Knock on the door and ask them if they got your mail by accident, or have seen your cat, or something that gives you a reason for standing at the door. Assess the situation see what kind of person your about to know. More than likely these will be people that just aren't paying attention to the people living around them.What you have now is an introduction that is not based on what your really there for. Tell them about yourself and point out how far you live from them. This establishes a common bond, we are neibors and sensible people that can communicate on common grounds. Leave, never speaking one word about why
your really there. Let at least two days pass . If you see them passing in the meantime make very light communication (wave hello, smile, things like that). After the two days have passed ,you wait untill the boom boom music returns. Now it is time. Return to residence and knock on the door. Start the conversation by reflecting on your first visit. Remember me? Im so and so from next door...After establishing a good neutral start explain to them why your there to visit this time. Don't attack or belittle their style of living. Let them know politely that your a troubled sleeper and help them understand from your perspective how the mucic is keeping you from resting. They may be unaware that the music can be heard so loudly. Make sure before the conversation is over to have some boundries put in place. For example, I dont mind the music if
it's played during these hours....
I have had pretty good results using the steps I've told you. Heck, I even made a few unexpected
friends along the way.
Regards McCain

Thanks, McCain. I would have to establish which house they're in and could do that only when it's happening, so I'd have to walk towards the sound, make a note of street and house number, then retreat and approach some other time. They are not living close to me, which is why I'm getting the boomba boomba boom without identifiable melody. Actually I think there is more than one culprit, but that could be when the wind changes.

Thing is it's more of a head-game as in your previous post: I perceive these people as indifferent (hostile?) to all around them. I have the same reaction to car stereos, and mutter to myself during approach - windows rattling - retreat. That isn't so bad because I know it's going to be only a matter of minutes, although that doesn't stop me having fantasies of shooting the driver. It's not knowing when it will stop that gets to me.

If you see them passing in the meantime...

Ah nostalgia. This reminded me of living in the civilised world! I'm living in a very hot place (tropical Australia) and people don't walk more than the few steps to their cars or mailboxes, specially this time of year. It might help if there were footpaths, but there aren't. I've never seen anyone 'passing'. There are people who walk (or run!) for exercise, but not round here. They drive to parkland or airconditioned gyms.

Well, I am moving (again ) in a couple of weeks, have made a point of going past the new place several times at different hours and I expect it to be quieter. Thing is, this is about what goes on in my head, and my inability to control my environment. PTSD makes people over-sensitive to stimuli, and I live in a world that's too noisy.

I'll keep working on it.

And this is why i don't like "starting " a post as in someone said it best it gets " hijacked" and sure enough it did, i joined this site not 24 hours ago for support with my anger/rage not to mention 2 days before x-mas and i recieved ZERO feedback, it is what it is i guess right ., that's fine !

Coop

McCain wrote:I lived in a very large city most of my life. Everyone in a hurry, rush, rush, rush... I found myself becoming stressed by the constant need for the guy behind to "hurry me up". When I was driving, standing in line at the store, waiting to get the kids from school. I contemplated these stressful places even before I left my house. I knew I was going to have a blow out before I put myself back into these situations. I began to realize I was on the defense as soon as my foot left my front door. I didn't like feeling this way everyday. I started to think of what I could do to get along with the outside world in a peaceful way. I had to do a bit of a moral inventory of why this bothered me so much. The bottem line was I didn't like feeling unimportant and disrespected. So now what? I knew the world wasn't going to change for me. I can't stop the people and think I'll get through to them one at a time by screaming at them.
I devised a detour. I left my house a little earlier for planned events. This gave me more time to get where I was going and pull off the road safely to count to ten until the hasty driver behind could go around and tick off the next guy. I understand if your on the interstate you may not be able to this until you reach an exit. I didn't think it would work , but after I tried it a few times I found myself in control again. Some people need more than just a count to ten. You can also count down from twenty depending on your stress level. The other detour I devised was planning my outings around the busiest times for people to be out. Shop early when the stores first open. Plan appointments around rush hour traffic. Use alternate routes less traveled.
I became quite good at avoiding a lot of the day to day stress that we all feel. I hope these techniques can help you. You can enjoy your outings again and live more peaceful knowing how
to avoid what clearly angers you.
Regards McCain

Reposted
Merry Christmas
Regards McCain

Sorry, Coop. The first two replies were for you, then it seemed like you'd gone. Happens a lot here. We were just chatting while we waited for you to come back.

You should come back and express more of your anger here. If we give bad advice don't hesitate to tell us, and if our polite responses to your angry posts anger you more, tell us that as well.

Maybe you want to be killed did you ever think of that? Perhaps that is the very reason why you get angry.

Maybe you love the anger within like a great dragon inside bursting to get out and that's how you live and you love being angry you say you don't but you do.

Like a great dragon and you be all like bruce like and.......aawwhhh.. chop

maybe thats your great strength. Be angry and turn into a hulk....a big green hulk and smash stuff up and no one going to stop you cause they all little girls and you a big man so...its like a power trip.

Our mental health and physical health are intimately related. May I ask you some questions?

Are you eating the right amount of healthy food? (no junk)
Are you drinking the right amount of healthy drinks? (no alcohol, caffeinated or fizzy)
Are you taking the right amount of healthy exercise?
Are you getting a good balance between work, rest and play?
Are you looking after your personal appearance and your living environment?
Are you able to forgive easily?
Are you grateful to the people who make your life more comfortable?
Are you contributing to your local community?

Hey Bodhidharma - Maybe you want to be killed did you ever think of that? Perhaps that is the very reason why you get angry -

If you're directing your post at me all i can say is that's Ludicrous to even think this way, if you can't come up with anything better then that for support please, don't waste my time - have a good day !

Managing anger is very difficult, you get angry but you hate it, you want to control it, but you can;t you hate that you make everybody sad and you hate yourself for; it is really tough

I know certain method for relax, it helps to clean mind of all stress, frustration. Try it everyday, believe me it is short.
Lie down on bed now try to relax. Let all thoughts (both negative and positive) pass, let all thoughts pass until your mind will be clean. When your mind will be clean stay in this silence for a minute. At certain point you will feel this feeling of relaxation as if you have been cleaned of sth.

Try this everyday, believe me it will relax you and help you clean yourself from all stress