Children having Tantrums

**Posts:** 295 · by **ced316** » Tue Feb 09, 2021 11:44 pm

I was told children (defined as kids under the age of 12) that have emotional meltdowns or tantrums are because their emotional needs are being neglected by the parent. I can not find a source on that, has anyone read or have any information regarding that ? I understand some children have ADHD, Anxiety and or Autism which could play into the emotional deregulation; however what about the children who will emotionally fall apart when a parent tells them to turn off a video game or a teacher tells them to sit at their desk to participate in class?

Is it possible the environment at home is producing responses like this in some kids? as in, the turmoil between parents -could- be contributing to ongoing anxiety in them ?

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Wed Feb 10, 2021 2:55 am

ced316 wrote:I was told children (defined as kids under the age of 12) that have emotional meltdowns or tantrums are because their emotional needs are being neglected by the parent.

I'm not sure who told you this, but it is misleading at best. There are plenty of reasons a child might throw a tantrum that have nothing to do with parental neglect.

Here is a research paper from 2012 on the topic:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf ... 12.00755.x

From the paper:

There are several reasons children have temper tantrums. Children who are tired, hungry, ill, or frustrated may have limited coping abilities, resulting in tantrum behavior (Kyle, 2008). Additional reasons include seeking parental attention, getting what one wants, or avoiding doing something the child does not want to do (McCurdy et al., 2006).

If a child doesn't want to turn off a video game or listen to a teacher, it doesn't mean the child is emotionally neglected.

**Posts:** 295 · by **ced316** » Wed Feb 10, 2021 5:52 am

thank you for that.

Ive encountered a situation where a small kid (under 7) screams panics and enters rage when hes told to do something he doesnt want to do. Even the rare occasion that the parents spank him, he'll hit them back...and when he's angry he'll ball his fist and hit them when hes angry.

**Posts:** 3015 · by **tokeless** » Wed Feb 10, 2021 8:02 pm

Children push boundaries and exploit inconsistencies because they are in some ways parasitic in their behaviour.. it's all about what they want and will react if they don't or can't get it their way. They need boundaries to help them but will resist them because they feel they are being denied. Effective parenting uses boundaries, role modelling and if needed, consequences. Contrary to belief, a child need this to help them transition to adulthood and are happier when they understand the rules and have them demonstrated with care and love. There are some very unhappy and messed up children who were given everything materialisticly but just wsnted their parents attention and love...

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Thu Feb 11, 2021 9:45 am

Just popping in to say Hi, Ced! Good to see you here when so many millions are dropping dead from an imaginary virus.
You might find this helpful. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/tantrums.html

**Posts:** 295 · by **ced316** » Mon Mar 08, 2021 11:58 pm

Hey there ! Thank you!

Children having Tantrums

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