First post.
I started a new job about a year ago and, frankly, it is not going well.
I took the job for security, leaving a slightly better job that I really enjoyed and did well at, at a place I liked, working with people I liked and who liked and respected me. The trouble was that it was temporary - I'd been there seven years but had taken a promotion on a temporary basis which was renewed at annual intervals for the last three years. I was promised that the job would be advertised as a permanent position and that I would be entitled to apply for it, but I got fed up of waiting for that to happen and applied for the job I have now. My current job is on a permanent contract, and I would have never even been in the frame for it without the experience I gained at my previous temporary job.
I have similar levels of responsibility but I am pulled in several directions at once in the course of the average working day, as my role is very diverse. There is rarely time to sit down quietly and concentrate on a piece of work. While I have few hard and fast deadlines, I often fail to deliver work when it is wanted, and while I can start several tasks during the day, it is rare that I can see through an individual task in a single attempt. The pressure I am under has led me to make some stupid mistakes. My boss has been patient at times and obviously frustrated at others.
I manage a small team of two, both of whom were in place prior to my arrival and know their jobs inside out, are very professional and well liked by my boss and the rest of the team. They were also very close with my predecessor and remain so. This, coupled with the fact that I am the only male in the entire company, leaves me feeling isolated most of the time.
I had a performance appraisal recently, at which we agreed that I had not achieved my targets fully, that I wasn't completely on top of my work and that something needed to be done to help me catch up so that I can stay on top of things. I acknowledged that there were areas in which I can improve and expressed the intention and desire to do so. My boss suggested we review the roles within the department to ensure that everyone is pulling their weight and find ways to "work smarter". However, I am concerned that we left the meeting without agreeing clear targets for the next year. I'm worried this means that I am about to face some kind of disciplinary action, and may be fired.
I am miserable at work and am kicking myself for not hanging in there in my previous job. I have no idea what to do. I have been looking for and applying for other jobs, but - as it always seems to be - when you really want to leave somewhere, you can't even get an interview. I am also concerned that, were I to get one, my current boss is unlikely to give me a decent reference.
I have never been in this position before as in my entire career to this point I have always exceeded expectations and had very positive references from previous employers. I've never been in a position where I dreaded going into work and have never felt this isolated in my workplace.
I feel under stress and pressure all the time. I feel depressed and it has crossed my mind more than once that I might be having a nervous breakdown. I have talked to my wife about it and she has been brilliant, very supportive and upbeat. She is co-ordinating my hunt for a new job and refuses to let me beat myself up over the situation, despite being against me taking this job in the first place.
Writing this out has actually made me feel a little better, but concrete good advice would still be very gratefully received!
Cheers
Jonny The Black Cat
